Twitter Wars 1

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

nobody is paying attention to how much easier it is for a woman to just leave the scene rather than speak up

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

new gf trap question just dropped: “if you were to turn me into an AI companion, which parts of my personality would you get rid of when making it?”

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

to date a woman is to be anointed with various salves and ointments

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I have that specific brand of autism which means I feel most safe when completely dissociated in a group of friends having fun next to me but not with me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Isn’t there a sort of roko’s basilik thing going on where the more we discuss the dystopian future the more it goes into training data and makes it more likely that the bad outcome will happen

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m so proud of @univrsw3th4rt for introducing the concept of 🌟marketing🌟 to the vibecamp team https://t.co/Az2vH0Ec8A

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I lived with a guy who sexually assaulted me for a few years. I made the decision to move in with him a few months after he groped me. traditional justice never felt right to me. my dad was a felon, I’ve been up close and personal with the criminal justice system and it’s effects. but at the same time I couldn’t let myself let this guy just go. losing respect for someone who I looked up to was hard enough. something about the idea of having people hurt me and giving them the cold shoulder has never moved me. it doesn’t feel like restitution until that person has grown, and that change has, in my own experience, been most catalyzed when I am a tangible force in it with them, the pain, chaos, and complication underlying the gravity of the need. grabbing the core of his heart, killing him with my compassion and grace and forgiveness, saying “it’s okay, I trust you not to do it again” as I look him dead in the eye signing the lease, and letting him choke a little on the weight of his own guilt, that was enough for me.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

women, if you’re ever worried about your looks being the thing holding you back from a good relationship don’t fret! I’ve ruined a ton of men’s lives as a mid 😇

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

sexual shame is more unattractive than impotence, if you can’t get it up let’s just not have sex— but if you’ve got a weird ego thing? ick

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

am I the only person who didn’t know about this wbe guy before this? he’s seemingly not in my circle of things at all https://t.co/D8HF080frI

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

how do I stop drinking socially? I keep drinking more than feels good.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

okay looking at this list of words is actually pretty silly “Fractal, Maximum New York, Vibecamp, Cuties, Community Archive, Psychofauna, Whorehole, The Service Guild, Claude Squad, Casa Tilo, Solis, Concrete Kingdom, Vibechella, and ApplyAll” I love that we have created so much, but if you taken any different combination of these words and stick them in a different scene it sounds like absolute gobbledygook

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

oh my god, they stole Whorehole https://t.co/DZBS0EdxQd

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

hiya! it’s my birthday today! If you’ve known me long enough I’d love for you to comment on ways that I’ve changed as you’ve known me (good or bad!) if you haven’t known me for a long time, I’d love for you to tag someone else and compliment them. ✨♥️✨

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Whorehole tickets are available for presale! shhhh it’s a secret 🤫 dm me for a link if you’re interested

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

an old friend called Whorehole “the waterboarding conference” today

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

hey quick reminder that if you have something concerning (especially related to assault, and especially here in nyc) that you need to speak about — please let me know and I’ll direct you to any resources I can, or I’ll just bodydouble with you if you need it -i have put people in touch with officers I know at NYPD -i have found people lawyers -i have found people specialized therapists -i have connected people to experts far smart than me on a number of things (sexual harm reduction, coercive control, grooming, ect)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

if anyone would like to join me for a tpot specific feminist reading group over the next year or so, reply here! feminism and race theory are very useful for us because it supplies language for examining systems in which no one necessarily *intends* to exercise coercion, but unequal stakes, power, and informal dependencies nevertheless persist. I think there’s a ton of overlap that’s useful for all this talk of friendship, sex and gender discourse, and community organization (and all of its components such as curation, status, mutual support networks in the face of systems that fail you, and coordination). the curriculum is designed with the scene in mind. it skips de Beauvoir, Friedan, Butler assuming either you have read it, or it would not appeal to many of you. see reply for the syllabus :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Desperately hoping that I, too, become powerful enough that one day my bf becomes featured in a tiny little “husband” box in an article https://t.co/Roqc5HfvMR https://t.co/lBMnK7xNSj

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

one of the major reaons the boyf and I decided things were right between us, is that we solve problems we solve them for good. this sounds a little crazy for a relationship that has had two break ups, but each iteration of our relationship has been constitutionally different being. at the macro and micro levels, when we solve an issue between us, it stays in the past. each past piece of effort has continued to build our intimacy, trust, and love for each other. there are endless problems in relationships, in life. it feels nice to choose someone who i can fix problems with, instead of endlessly circling or necro-ing a relationship we both previously thought was gone.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

many people don’t understand this, but you can get to a point of abused, assaulted, and beaten down that you refuse to allow yourself to be a victim anymore I hit a point in my own frailty, where I went “fuck this, being sad and anxious about this isn’t working”. this was someone who was older than me, who was supposed to be a leader and know what to do, and instead I saw how sad and bereft his own life was through his actions towards me. being the adult in the room meant not allowing this to define me, it meant telling him where he went wrong, it meant stepping up and stopping the emotional wounds in both of us that would perpetuate this kind of shit in both of our lives

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

my mom is coming to visit me! I moved out of Ohio almost 8 years ago, and this is the first time she is actually coming to visit and spend time!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I could parallel park a train

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

i’m just now understanding that maybe earnestness is interpreted differently from men and women. my prevailing social strategy in life has always been to proceed as ultra-earnest. take people and their problems seriously, be honest, couple it with humility and take responsibility for failures and missteps especially when other people point them out. the first time I experienced earnestness fail was in my college band fraternity. I took the rituals and history *too seriously*, it was cringey, and why was I always making everything so “intense”. l recently found myself giving two friends some social advice to be more earnest. Both sort of bristled saying “but I am”. One says that people don’t really see or believe it in him. It takes a while for people to drop the suspicion and see the earnestness underneath. The other is earnest + sentimental in a way that others perceive as weakness. It threw me for a loop because aside from my (frankly very odd) college experience (where it was a confluence of young adults all projecting on each other), this has typically been a winning strategy for me. I’ve never had my earnestness understood as anything other than kindness even when it’s annoying to other people.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think @tasshinfogleman’s Service Guild is one of the coolest projects in our community. I’m really excited for him to be in nyc consistently and host more collective service events. Ive liked the taste of a few that we’ve done already. maybe garbage clean up to show love to our city streets sometime soon?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

holy shit, it knows about my tattoo https://t.co/Wu3ihGNECk https://t.co/y5r46wZmZv

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m struggling to take seriously one portion of the discourse: the part in which we on twitter/in this scene/and the safetyists themselves are projecting more power on the AI safetyists than they actually have. I struggle to see this as a legitimate networking event, and to that point, I think it undermines part of your argument for me. you and I have both lived and worked in DC, and we both know that Berkeley safetyism is a fundamentally unserious culture. It’s perfectly fine for that subgroup to exist and ideologically goon themselves into a corner, they may project significant influence over culture or intelligentsia style conversations, but they currently alienate themselves from any true levers of powers (any legislative body, lawmakers, judges, voters)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

no show should exist beyond 5 seasons, it is the perfect length for any series. you can’t change my mind

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

what kinds of communities produce trustworthy leaders, enforces its norms without becoming cruel, and can survive serious violations without denial or social bloodletting?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

your late 20s are a time to reexperience the developmental wounds of your teen years, and mature them into adulthood. date someone who matches your ideal gf/bf from when you were 16 and realize what a nightmare that is. have a fight with your parents and then learn to empathize with them, listen to the same angst music and alchemize it into a matured continuation of the self. your early 20s are for becoming yourself, and letting your brain finish developing. then you work backwards healing your inner teen & inner child and then become final form adult.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

in an emotionally catatonic society visible grief is subversive

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

wow, some people be making up me’s in their head that just straight up do not exist

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

how often do you think about the number of years left in your life? like oh yeah, 50 years is both so much and so little time.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

there’s nothing “resting” about this bitch face, i can promise you that it’s very active

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I became a real New Yorker today, rode over the Williamsburg bride in a bike for the first time 🏅

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

something so comfy when friends come dressed as the most concentrated possible version of themselves Like ah yes, -90s goth spiky jewels vampire, -mega accessories not trad florals baddie -matching streetwear buddies -sexy Ivy Lit professor -discount pitbull -and melancholic Halle Berry showed up with an Edwardian bustle

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

sorry I can’t pay attention to the discourse today, it’s @animalologist’s birthday 😇

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I don’t find sadistic “art” subversive or interesting

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

❗️nyc homies ❗️ I created a little gpt daily events bulletin! it's tailored to my preferences, so it suggests things like weird art installations, body and movement events, and policy/civics related events around the city. i have it set to highlight 3 different things a day. it rotates thru free to mildly expensive activities in different boroughs and neighborhoods. it also suggests a restaurant or bar near the activity. hmu if you'd also like to recieve the daily suggestions :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

there is a type of person who will weaponize their shame and sadness against you. they threaten that if you do not have infinite grace, if you make a single misstep with their worries and woes, that they will forever make it your problem https://t.co/teogdMiBel

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

There comes a time when helping people with relational wounds where they will lash out. They will be hurt, they will say you haven’t done enough, they, by the very nature of their hurt, will push you away even as you’re extending your hand and help. If you cannot grow more expansive to hold compassion for them in this space, to be unwavering and unyielding in their despair, then you ought not be doing this kind of work

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

plz forgive me, I broke one of my own rules about being mean to staff just trying to do their jobs I really laid into our doorman this evening bc he thought it was a good idea to call us at midnight 30 & inform us an Amazon grocery delivery had been waiting since 7pm Sir, I KNOW I just saw you fixing your hair in the window when I came in at 10:30, and you didn’t have the decency to tell me then? really? now was the best option??? not his fault but the bag broke when he tried to hand it over to me & I had to carry everything in my arms so nonplussed. He said “let me get the elevator for you” and I let him walk over with one can in his hands, everything else in my arms— looked him dead in the eye and pressed the up button

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

how surprised would you be to hear that half of fundraising is being trustworthy and helping the ultra wealthy know how to spend their money https://t.co/IjzCuOeYnY

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

does anyone else have a biphasic period? mine will last maybe 3 days, stop for a few days, and then resume for a single day or so. v annoying

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

You have to understand, these were the women I looked up to in my formative years (my family calls me Reg/Reggie to this day) https://t.co/QfcPpBLZhQ https://t.co/xTrTdUHyP6

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

if you think I’m happy all the time you’re mistaken. I’m at ease. I love my suffering with arms wide open without glorifying it. i’m loving my fate, i’m taking it on the chin with a grin, i’m in the rage cage, I’m in the cerebral mosh pit, and I’m laughing. stay with the trouble, stay in the groove, move with fluidity around the tension and ride the beast alongside it. it would only be dragging you along anyway

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Williamsburg? You mean the yuppie striver zoo enclosure we put in Brooklyn? https://t.co/BSUjDRfcqT

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

dear lord, please grant a girl an off the cuff tweet once in a blue moon with minor blowback amen 🙏

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

hating myself meant that I refused to let myself feel ease. when you constantly want to die it’s a constant effort to justify your existence to a rigged jury. pain and suffering and chaos means that there is a reason for you to be alive— bc of course! you must make amends to so and so, you must earn your keep, you owe it out. your self hating masochism is grinding every bit of your own self worth away, while also being the only sliver tethering you to others.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

too many spiritual daddies, not enough spiritual mommies

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

self portrait https://t.co/VJAX6t5cA8 https://t.co/VOA5eOU4Kb

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

will resume tpot towmhalls at the end of this month, @kenthecowboy_ finally time for the delayed “transhumanism, gender fluidity, and waterboarding. let’s talk about the right to experiment on yourself”

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

come visit fractal! https://t.co/IILnosOoDe

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I love being one of three sisters

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

the thing I love about telling this story is how crazy it makes people. I think without knowing me personally, people have a hard time believing that this is even a real situation. the women haters are qting the og post, continuing to shit on me. it underlines that there’s no legal move for women who are wronged to take like oh yeah, the guy who is nearly my dad’s age? who is my colleague, respected in his field? a friend of mine? I should have what… cancelled him? told our hundreds of mutual friends? got him fired from his job? filed a police report? right, but if I had acted punitively instead of focusing on both of our rehabilitation you would have also told me that I was ruining his life. look, he was perfectly fine getting himself fired from his job for flirting with interns *after* he assaulted me. you can let people hurt themselves on their own actions and be there for them when those people are finally ready to change. I’d wager a bet, a lot those men qting me mad at women are responding to a wound where they have been parentified by immature feminine in their life. you’d think that they’d see a parallel here from my perspective where someone whose role, years, and character in life were supposed to be further developed than mine, and it wasn’t. I took charge. aside from him initially groping me, all of our interactions such as moving in together and being roommates, was all consensual from both parties. unless you think that I bullied a man with grey hairs?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

something bleak about six guys on laptops all facing away from each other at the hookah bar

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

anyone wanna come over to my place and make perfumes, I already have all the supplies https://t.co/V3TKaR4mJv

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

the behavior alienates lawmakers who must act on the behalf of their constituents, it becomes an increasingly absurdist paracosm. Serious operators will be unable to bridge the gap between middle America and whatever coastal elite game we’re playing. Maybe Aella would say that’s not her business, but you know one of my primary bits it’s getting people to reconcile with the roles/responsibilities that they have to others. When we accumulate status, whatever form of it, when we have people look to us for direction, we are put into a role of leadership that we ought to honor.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

taking out $2 bills to protect my strippers from inflation

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

registering my fashion takes: we’ll see 70s cuts (jumpsuits, lounge pants for men, Farrah Faucett hair, gauchos) with early 00s patterns (big florals, bright colors, green + pink, blue + brown) in modern fabrics stretchy, silky, satiny

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I need everyone to know that @nedsore makes our gc personalized bday spam messages, and it’s the best thing that happens in there https://t.co/BFIa6Uwx15

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I touched a peen in a negotiated and respectful manner https://t.co/dsuARThd1j

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

you’re calling this sub, clinical?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

https://t.co/TyXlbnG5nA https://t.co/gDbdeG5n4I

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think the -cel suffix modifier says “I desire the narrative/fiction/fantasy/ect over the true relational” à la the aegosexual. other people can be into the object of your desire with you, and reason that male incels don’t have gfs is because their fantasy precludes them from beginning a relationship by putting them at odds with the subject

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone my attempt at a solution is to make yourself a safe lightning rod for people to come to, to act on their behalf, but you’ve seen how that can overwhelm me singularly in practice that’s even with support resources, lawyers and therapists I refer to for advice, volunteers

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

allowing yourself to be more fickle actually allows yourself to be more flexible

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I have a few friends looking for jobs! Engineer/product types, marketer types, and creative artists types. If you’re looking to hire lmk and I’ll put you in touch!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

to my own point about stepping up to responsibilities and roles you inhabit, I have wondered to what extent the name “whoreaborelis” has hampered my legitimacy my own understanding of my brand/name is much more whimsical and surreal, but I do occasionally see people who have blocked me presumably bc of my name. a very limited number have said they didn’t want to engage with me, but the few have always been men, afaict this would hold more credibility for me if any of the people coming to me for help instantiated this as a concern/blocker that they have, except that none of them have. I’m curious if, in the negative space, anyone who would have come to me for help was put off by my display name such that they couldn’t speak to me.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

#1 — The Tyranny of Vibes *Jo Freeman — “The Tyranny of Structurelessness” *Cathy Levine — “The Tyranny of Tyranny” #2 — Who Gets to Know Things? *Donna Haraway — “Situated Knowledges” *Miranda Fricker — selections from Epistemic Injustice #3 — What Even Is a Woman? *Sally Haslanger — “Gender and Race: (What) Are They? (What) Do We Want Them To Be?” *Iris Marion Young — “Throwing Like a Girl” #4 — The Politics of Desire *Amia Srinivasan — “Does Anyone Have the Right to Sex?” / selections from The Right to Sex *Gayle Rubin — “Thinking Sex” *bell hooks — selections from "The Will to Change" #5 Consent Is Not a Complete Moral Theory *Katherine Angel — selections from Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again *Catharine MacKinnon — selections from “Sexuality, Pornography, and Method: Pleasure Under Patriarchy” #6 — The Invisible Economy *Silvia Federici — “Wages Against Housework” *Nancy Fraser — “Contradictions of Capital and Care” #7 — Feminism Invents the Cyborg *Shulamith Firestone — selections from The Dialectic of Sex *Donna Haraway — “A Cyborg Manifesto” #8 — Family Abolition?! *bell hooks — “Revolutionary Parenting” / selections from Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center *Sophie Lewis — selections from Full Surrogacy Now #9 — Intersectionality before woke *The Combahee River Collective Statement *Kimberlé Crenshaw — “Mapping the Margins” Read the originals rather than discourse about them Week 10 — What Is Liberation For? Audre Lorde — “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” bell hooks — selections from All About Love

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m coming for you @funplings 😈 https://t.co/rUiqBgnx7u

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

mom come get me, people are grinding at the sober sauna rave https://t.co/PcV659pJDM

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m glad that I’m post “romanticizing how tragic my life is”

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yearning for the stability of a pickle relationship gap

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m so sorry that happened to you, Ann. I know how hard it can be to come forward with something like that. Your response is very thoughtful, and it’s helpful to illuminate and understand the internal processes of any nascent institution or event so that we can continue to improve them. Each component— the attendees, the culture around it, what minority groups may feel like in that culture around a dominant group, the reporting process, what any given group does about it… all incredibly important conversations.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

day 2 of thrips in a 30 plant apartment https://t.co/tc4GNikqIF https://t.co/oYPj5SUDEy

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

A group is also made up of individuals. Each group has a group identity and it also has individual identities. You need to filter between the two layers to figure out what’s actually going on

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

some of yall be posting replies not realizing you’re in the tweet 👀 https://t.co/G8rbDItSN4

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

wait, you’re telling me this liver is chopped

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yeah, I was wondering too. I thought the charitable read was something akin to what spacepunk said about her abuser being obliterated in front of her. that women have been long abused, and that karmic build up of justice is swinging. but without context that line made me a bit uncomfortable tbh

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

https://t.co/wiQQcW5lP5

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

68 in the apartment freezing!! 72 is sweltering… 69.74? Just right 😎

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I have a bladder infection, and thrips on my plants, and my mom is coming to visit because Sunday is my birthday so I must clean the apartment otherwise she’ll do it when she gets here instead of spending time with me. 🎶 the hell of minor inconveniences 🎵 https://t.co/c5IXzRECcR

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

men do this downward pressure thing, but imo it tends to come out in faux intellectualism. it doesn’t look like smiling compliments. idk. I don’t struggle to shut down relationships w the woman version of this, but I find myself in relationships w/ the male version of this a lot (looking for dads love I suppose)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

oh I actually agree, that it’s the cultural norm. I think that ends up being why you don’t see women in a lot of spaces. I think it’s why even in nyc (a city with a high ratio of women to men) still sometimes struggles to have gender balanced public events. women are more likely to silently defect not sure what to do about that :/ BUT I’m also taking the men speaking up for them in good faith as pointing at something real

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

for the longest time I refused to look into many symptoms I had because I figured that “normal” healthy meant that i should have zero unique-to-myself issues I gaslit myself believing that any deviation was all in my head. took forever to realize that what is *actually* normal is every single person having at least one thing that is special & unique to their body/neurology/composition

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

what I’ve learned from this is that I am probably a top 10%er for women gamers https://t.co/2DVIl6Oi69

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

It’s @ThinkingBone’s birthday! Everyone say “hbd Skelly” to your favorite male Leo 🦁

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

this is not my body, this is a temple of god. this is not my own, this is the altar of god.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

people only listen to clavicular because he is looksmaxxed therein proving his point. inceldom is out https://t.co/tknTIkuLO4

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

when I come up against this wall, when I feel hurt and frustration at the lashing out, I literally have to take a deep breath and imagine myself expanding outward horizontally like I’m growing bigger to hold more and more

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I know that you have a particular wound about this, and it wasn’t my intention for you to catch strays with this tweet. In my experience I’ve had people whose shame eats the entire relationship alive, and no amount of my deep well of compassion, empathy, or trying to work thru it with them has helped. It burned me out in the process, and in one case the other parson’s myopic shame still prevents them from seeing my side of the story after years of trying to get them to hear me.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

sorry nyc homies have too busy to comment on the capital D discourse rn, we’re in the middle of the birthday gauntlet https://t.co/UxYhQxaopJ

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

create the cult inside your heart, create the cult with your ifs parts

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

barbie gave me unrealistic dessert expectations :c all my favorite foods come with far too few polygons https://t.co/gxK2MR60li

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

problems take a variable amount of time, some issues are one conversation, some take concerted effort, and at least one major problem required us both to break up, walk away, and come back more whole and integrated. people don't generally change who they are. they stay themselves, but overtime they become *more so*. i imagine this visually as a soundboard. rarely do people move horizontally to turn on new characterisitcs that were not fundamental to them. it's more likely that if they change, it is vertically turning that dial higher and higher. when we chose each other again last year, it was eyes wide open to the fullest expression of who that other person was, and could be. and we opted in to continue building, a linear control, with the other person towards that--a sine wave oscilating more and more rapidly with less dramatic delta between the highs and lows i believe a person's worst traits are also their best, and vice versa. they are the same side of a coin, and you're looking for someone who continues to inspire you to call forth the matured positive expression of your characteristics. we all should be so grateful to find people who call us into constant higher resonance.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

i found thrips on a number of my plants 😭 I have so many, this is going to be a real endeavor

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

asked chat to recommend characters that I’m similar to, or would aspire to, based off of our conversations, it named 1. Donna Noble - Doctor Who 2. Delenn - Babylon 5 3. Tiffany Aching - Terry Pratchett's Discworld 4. Buffy Summers - Buffy 5. Sophie Hatter - Howls Moving Castle 6. Kathryn Janeway - Star Trek: Voyager 7. Chrisjen Avasarala - The Expanse 8. Mortician Adams (lol)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

for as long as I can remember, the world has begun *outside of me*. when I connect with people relationally, when i think of them, I think about our “unit” first sometimes I think about the other person first — and under myself as described in relationship to that external environment. a lot of people misunderstand this. Ive stopped moralizing it once I learned 1. that it was happening and 2. how to communicate about it and express it positively. It doesn’t happen because I’m trying to be kind, it doesn’t happen because I’m trying to leverage a weakness, it’s just the primary way I orient in the world.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

in case anyone forgot how i used to post today was a little taste 😈

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

ease does not feel easy. it feels threatening, it feels boring, it feels like entropy lapping at my heels and the barely held raft of safety is breaking due to time, wear, slow degradation… movement looks and feels productive, and it often works as a pro social maladaptive cope because you often *are* getting things done. you’re being there for your friends. you’re showing up at work, always the first one to respond to an email, people reward you for your immediacy bias

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Oh you’re toasty? Name every kind of toast.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I am playing the game of Mao https://t.co/oySeAqYJxk

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

even as I’ve learned to love myself, even as I’ve recognized there’s a person in this body who deserves the same attention and compassion and respect that I give others, by far the hardest thing to unfuck has been this dissociative bias to action.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

this friend group in the birthday week hype house shouting at each other in real time about twitter https://t.co/TKIFfB9qXh

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

free yourself from the masters in your mind, shit on the side of the road

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

you’re saying this vocal is fried?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

the discourse is happening around it, not directly acknowledging the burden it takes to speak up if you feel unsafe in an environment or directly tying it into the fact that men are predominantly the people posting about it, they may have stories from people who are owed privacy who don’t feel capable or comfortable speaking up for themselves and I don’t think that undermines their point

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Next townhall; https://t.co/wiQQcW5lP5

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

tradwives are the maoist inheritors

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@liquidprismata I am not particularly enjoying the way you qt. They feels weird, and frankly I find your replies annoying and not in the spirit of the tweet. If you qt me again I’m going to block you.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@liquidprismata no, I don’t particularly struggle with sexual shame and am not ashamed of this post

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@moldbugchaser god wya?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

bro couldn’t have known this but one of us as a sleep disorder and this means another hour before getting to bed

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

spoiler alert; the bell jar is not an instruction manual!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I will also add the emotional context that the day he did this was the day I called off my engagement with my ex finance, and I went over to hang out with friends for support.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@strangestloop me when I find out Gitmo has a bigger memetic footprint

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

maybe I’m not understanding what billed as a headliner is? afaik or recall there hasn’t been like a… festival poster for camp. I think VC2 comes closes to that with “dating show to save the world”. AFAIremember she hasn’t been told not to leave, she just simply hasn’t come since 2 ?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Nathan is a great orator and conversationalist. He’s a top global contender for mastery over the English language, and he could give @animalologist a run for her money on meaningful words spoken per second. also, he ♥️’s NY and had a British accent https://t.co/Lif4fzXdKZ

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@basilYam I do not recommend banging her unless you want lasting psychic damage

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m looking at the words all together on the screen (part of this twitter wars thing), and I had a moment where I stopped for a second and just laughed. Like what are these words? Why are they associated in my head? Why does “cuties” the dating app have symbolic preference over clementines or hot babes. Don’t get me started on WH…

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

the power of the structure is only as strong as the depths of its emotional meaning

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m so careful, and so nice, and try to always thing about every single freaking angle that anyone could read my tweet and hold that because, similar to the issue at the core of this tweet, it’s always about holding space for whoever is in the room with me at a detriment to myself— am I not allowed a single off the cuff tweet when im silently catching strays from the slightly misogynistic wounds of my mutuals all the time?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

the original tweet was actually inclusive bidirectionally, I imagine that there are also a number of promiscuous women who already feel slutshamed by the broader scene, and as you’re saying, it is likewise easier for them to leave than to speak up to anyone about their experiences being excluded or evading harassment hidden under the guise of moral judgement

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@GrizzSkiAdams I was fairly supportive of Scarlet speaking up, (and always will be do women speaking up) despite disagreeing with her about the specific point on night nudity.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I love my friends very much and I love when they look like their essence, ykwim?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@michaeltong_ hollow knight

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan this is helpful, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what’s happening

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

that’s not really the way it happened though. I had known him for three years prior to this one incident happening. We lived together for another two and a half maybe afterwards. My life and nervous system got significantly better for a variety of reasons. He worked through his bs and became a more grounded and mature person. He didn’t touch me again ?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan but it does feel like i get unexpected flak where others wouldn’t and im trying to resolve that internally

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

my friend Ron works on cool projects 😎 https://t.co/g1mQw69qmZ

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

maybe 2nd season would include -The Woman That Never Evolved -“Is Women's Labor a Commodity?” -The Tragedy of Heterosexuality -Ectogenesis Is for Feminists -Raewyn Connell's Masculinities and a discussion around the idea of male "disposability"

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

absolutely losing my marbles at Puppet Fringe Festival

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@dheisman @GeorgeJourneys @funplings https://t.co/naGZoWmsIi :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan to be fair, it is something I stand by. I have never met someone who I wanted to be with romantically where their impotence got in the way for me. It has always been their shame about their impotence that has been the blocker.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gptbrooke 😮

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@GrizzSkiAdams yeah, this isn’t just the culture in the Bay, i experienced this in DC, I experienced this at two separate blue collar jobs. culturally pervasive that it is difficult to speak up

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@coldhealing wait… I thought this was a bit :c

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings I see engagement bait!!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yes, entirely. i was talking to someone about sort of “known” and “unknown” shame. Ime shame that’s unknown to you ends up leaking out in all these pernicious ways. I’m my own past, I’ve taken it out on people, hurt them, couldn’t grapple with their feedback but also was obsessed with the shape of the shame. Other people’s unseen shame also hurt me. But when both parties acknowledge and see that shame— they’re like okay we know the elephant is in the room and we’re not going to let him trample us, then the partnership can work together on it

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@maebichka @davidshimel @simon_ohler this is helpful! I like that the limited time challenge makes it easier to think about. I do have a thing about supporting businesses (having been a waitress and a bartender I feel weird not leaving a tip), but maybe I can just leave a cash tip without ordering anything.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think it looks a lot like walking on eggshells around a person. I think shame mostly reflects a lack of self value. The deficit, if it cannot come from self compassion, will need affirmations of others to satisfy that self wound. In some cases, it may look like shaming or controlling someone around you through transference. In other cases it might look like a desperate needling of validation from the people around you about that wound. It might look like having something to prove and inadvertently doing a social faux pas. Our shame is will come to a head in our own lives in our own most intimate relationships.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan no, I appreciate you saying things always. I appreciate you reminding me of how it will be received even when I’m exasperated. I never want you to feel like you can’t speak your mind

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sparr0 @animalologist @Malcolm_Ocean I actually think that the naming convention of Whorehole and Slutcon did not influence each other. They are two fairly different and distinct subgroups within the larger scene.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

a real “bro” moment of assault

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think it depends on the people involved, the specific circumstances, why that person did what they did. Fwiw I didn’t do this with my rapist who drugged my drink — i was younger, he was more malicious, the action he took was more severe. the person I mention here was a friend of mine for a few years before it happened, the way it happened was (frankly and honestly) sad and pathetic from my perspective. he cornered me drunkenly, kissed me with tongue, and groped and squeezed my breast. The complicating factors were that he was a bit older— like 10 years, and a colleague at the time.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

okay not to be like a waterboarding purist or anything, but fyi @manabovetown everyone knows more water is actually less effective when you’re trying to distress them https://t.co/yOcssCgvzK

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@animalologist I think one of the reasons that it blew up in the way that it did, was that we’re seeing in-person fault lines that had not previously made themselves visible

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m pro a culture in which more people speak up and feel safe to speak up. I’m pro norms in which you can speak on behalf of some of the population, and tautologer or skelly can speak on behalf of other people in the population, and both of those things can be true, I’m sorry that this particular discourse is coming downstream of the other gyser guy stuff. I’m imagining that’s what indirectly emotionally activated tautologer or skelly to bring it up, but I don’t think they intentionally meant it as a pile on addition to that. I imagine it feels really painful right now that all of this is happening at once.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@JoshuAnansi no, only the once

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SarahAMcManus my experience with other people’s shame is something like… if they can’t recognize it in themselves, they will use you as a proxy, and in turn, potentially leave you with the same shame they were trying to rid themselves of

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

((also if you think this or really any of my tweets are about you, I promise they are not. I’m helping uhh like 12 ppl with personal problems at any given time so it’s more about my own reflection on trends))

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mr_eee_esq he was a good cook, but hogged the living room lol

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@abiding_dude42 my recollection is that maybe animalologist or lillybilly told me “he’s exactly what he sounds like” offhandedly last year, and Ive never had to think about him again

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@deepfates Please correct me if I’m wrong. I didn’t go to 1 so don’t have that as a reference, and Aella was never the selling point for me to go so maybe it didn’t stick in my brain

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@amphichrome_ Kentucky (fried) chicken

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

tomorrow 2pm https://t.co/zrznnyeZ9N https://t.co/oZV2ycWt9O

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@anal0gfutures women are beautiful

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@maebichka @QiaochuYuan I’ve had first principles, but what about second principles?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@JoshuAnansi to be certain, i didn’t shame him about it, but i also didn’t help him process bc frankly wasn’t my job. he had a rough patch after that where he had to do a of of emotional processing and reconciliation, and a nonzero amount was my silent presence as a reminder

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@graveunfurling I’m happy that you’re exactly who you want to be ♥️

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yeah, I know that they abut each other. Lines super fuzzy. I don’t tend to think of the like rw or dimes square crowd as part of my tpot (earnest europot or vibecamp) bc we tend to be too earnest. BUT the mask eats the face and I know people who go between that side of things and my version of whatever “here” is

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees They feel comforting in the same way I imagine those ball hugging boxer briefs do

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@exactlynora I have some hair oil that I put a *very small glob* of in while I’m in the shower near the end if my rinse. If you can get in the habit of shampoo -> condition -> oil then it’s pretty easy and it takes about 60 seconds

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@christineist for a while I was apparently top 3 on all of glosso with the generous and compassionate traits. lmao that every other woman seems to have at least one appearance based word in the stack and I don’t 🤡 https://t.co/TEtuy5AYpv

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings I tried posting one of my wackier lore drops but it didn’t bounce as much as I thought it would

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@goblinodds @Aella_Girl I think people are allowed to have complicated feelings about semi public figures (which includes Aella and you (and maybe me but to a much much much smaller extent). IMO preference falsification is worse than lying.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gptbrooke bro fr, this is not what I wanted to be known for

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I’m sorry that you feel like I’m shaming you because it is not my intention to has shame as a cudgel, but I do need to state my preferences and boundaries. You seem like the kind of person where I need to be particularly direct for you to hear it. If your quote tweets were intended to start a dialogue or confront me and get me to think about things from your perspective, it’s not working the way that you intend it to.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@FractalAuth all the fractal! a fractal for everyone!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone tell me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

this will be tomorrow! :) https://t.co/fwPlKBdaxV

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

https://t.co/C1Rp7WEhZk

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

(100% shade but I’d still live there)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SeraphinaWater omg there’s a conspiracy!! @basilYam was just tweeting about this too 😭

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@aliceisplaying like… idk dude I’m actually just that insane. I’m making moves on the board you didn’t even think possible

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I actually don’t think he’s a bad person. We built a fundamental truth around the idea that his (drinking to blackout excess frequently and a proclivity for flirting with women significantly younger than him) was a recipe for disaster. Over time, he was able to work on this, and over time, I also grew to trust him more. But it didn’t happen over night, and it required him to also accept that the things which led him to assault me in the first place, were not good.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@theOtherHatGuy oh no, this is a little insane I’ll cop to that.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@LeRoyDesCimes woah, crossover episode! I wonder who it was!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@davidshimel what about out at bars? order mocktails? seltzer water?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@callanable hard to write it all out in a tweet, but the main point was something like. the thing that you’re hyper focused on worrying about is probably not the thing that’s actually off putting

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@callanable yeah, and it often has to do with a wound in their own sense of self which sucks you in like a vortex trying to fix it. I have no doubt that I’ve done this same thing to other people.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

maybe this is revealing too much to the audience but, I did find it quite interesting to notice that the ways in which irl friend groups posted together (one pocket of sf crew, our pocket of nyc crew), and the ways in which we were inspired to respond because it was “our friends” who were weighing in on the discourse.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@crystalxduan true love is holding my friends accountable. high expectations/high support. if they are blinded in that specific moment I can wait to talk to them, but a conversation will still come

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SurrealistShip exactly

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld @segyges @tenobrus I’d hardly call Aella headlining if she hasn’t been in several years

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sacredmargs literally every time

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@puheenix incredible maneuver, gold medal

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ethangwang what's the number one thing you admire about yourself?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@bstract_thot King of Wands goes crazy!! I’m now wishing I had drawn mine darker looking at these

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_space_punk_ have you spoken to the host? some events/hosts have options for people like volunteering time. I have a limited number of free tickets set aside for WH for example

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@CostaV02 yeah, WH2 had zero waterboarding!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@bstract_thot he’s so good

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@9chabard https://t.co/Z6jNArKZfZ

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@meatballtimes some of us have had to WORK

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@silverarm0r what if it were okay to be a bad woman

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

human responses to violence are much more variable, and tbh I think the prescriptive idea that reactions to assault/rape/trauma must inherently lead to depression, collapse, intense emotional shock, and long-term trauma, prevents some people from being able to talk about or process their experience fully. resilience, compartmentalization, anger rather than fear, rapid recovery, or simply deciding “this happened to me, but I am continuing with my life” are all intelligible and valid responses, and still none of those amount to consent.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone cfr -> tfr pipeline

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@emergentvibe new whorehole workshop incoming

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@vividvoid it’s literally nameless! how are people supposed to remember!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere oh this isn’t a recommendation, but it was what I felt I needed to do for myself in that moment I think walking away and protecting yourself is also a very valid answer

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@__drewface casa tilo!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@moon_skier create the conditions for my own shame trigger, honestly not a bad idea

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SeraphinaWater @9chabard I wouldn’t have really considered this guy tpot, more like weird quasi fash lit scene

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@BecomingCritter I generally think most people are smart in a particular domain. be around them long enough to learn their wisdom

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I spent a significant portion of my week playing games while @meatballtimes watches (chats with his agents)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@default_friend in my head you’re the narrator

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@prana_addict my earnestness (diligence?) is part of what got me my jobs in dc despite only having worked in fast food and retail before then.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@liminaldoge you may have one (1) fake me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@basilYam heavy cream mentioned

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Thomasdelvasto_ I just have insane stories!!! any time I lore drop people lose their fucking minds

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Prigoose @lydialaurenson she’s not wrong though

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

he wasn’t coerced into accepting the frame, he wanted to because I pointed to the ways it hurt me and was also showing up in his other relationships. It was an “oh fuck” moment for him lol I could tag him in to speak for himself if you’d like but that feels a little inappropriate to out him like that

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@JoshuAnansi no, coming to an agreement on what would be appropriate “punishment” and seeing him work on himself and his behavior, did. he also willingly moved in with me despite him knowing it would fuck him up a lil

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@JoshuAnansi I think I did this semi successfully, it wasn’t coercive. we had a long chat before I moved in, he felt a bit of pressure by my presence, and I honestly didn’t hate that, but I actively didn’t make our friendship about it

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@FelixDelong would you have preferred a police report and a cancellation?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@prana_addict it’s low key kinda true tho

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@samlowen5105 I don’t really have alcohol at home! But when I socially drink I’ll often drink 2-3 drinks, and living in NYC that ends up being a lot of social evenings…

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I don’t think it’s necessarily a universal of held shame, but rather a true about how painful shame is for people to alchemize. and that the shame itself, is not undeserving of love or compassion or healing, but you, me, any of us, ought to be careful to understand what it can do when it fills the room to suffocation

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

sexual shame is more unattractive than impotence, if you can’t get it up let’s just not have sex— but if you’ve got a weird who thing? ick

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sheherenow_ is very cool! She does design, engineering, product, and research. Truly the whole package!looking in SF / NYC. Check out her website at https://t.co/fUe2xYOOEv

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@GeorgeJourneys @ntonio_enzo @timebard @GeneralAntilles @callanable love you George ♥️

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

art which is sadist to its subject, and which only exists as an outlet of a sadistic audience I’m not interested in Robert Mapplethorpe for example, bc there are suggestions that his photography coerced the men in the photos with threat of blackmail, or pushing them to do harder Bdsm for the shoot than they were normally into.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@crystalxduan well, you know what I would do

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere @scholzmx @MomaBera hmm, side note, but actually most of my “healing from trauma from men” has been done in and bc of tpot but it’s been with/bc of specific relationships with specific ppl not bc of specific events or workshops

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Aella_Girl I’m really sorry that you’ve received death threats for being publicly polyamorous. I don’t think that you deserve that.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@deepfates I am once again struck by how many parallel but separate universes there seem to be going on in this scene

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@powerbottomson lol I have friends in two different precincts and am friends with one former detective turned analyst who seemingly knows someone in every neighborhood

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@cinnibop my middle sister? her tenacity. she’s so fiery, my youngest sister? her humor!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@AriZerner recently? hollow knight, crusader kings, assassin’s creed. You?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

taking care of yourself is an important part of taking care of others. the system being created is intentionally trying to overwhelm and exhaust your capacity to care for others. It is okay to make sure you and your immediate surroundings are safe, and to let people who are more resourced than you give rn. I think the concern is letting necrotized dysfunction set in, but it’s possible to be aware of what’s going on in the world, and strategic about your own capabilities, recognizing that this is a long fight, at the same time.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mykola dude I was trying! a couple of years of my activism/fundraising was geared towards direct aid to sex workers and the homeless

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone but forreal, cfr is a major thing I look for in my friendships too

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@aliceisplaying wouldn’t you like to know 😈

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@crystalxduan power move, ask him out on a double date

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

dude I’m not going to watch this video you know what’s not sitting right with me about this? that when I do something that hurts you (you feel like I’m shaming you). I apologize. when I feel like I’ve hurt people, even if it’s miniscule, even if I’m feeling defensive, I apologize because it is not my intention to hurt others. when you do something that hurts or upsets me (qting me sideways, reviving years old threads), you make excuses that this is the way you are. you’re evasive of the thing you’ve done and try to abstract it. food for thought. I’d have to imagine that this exact behavior is a part of why you struggle relationally.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@nosilverv @funplings you have 10x the number of followers I do 😭

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings this you? 😘 https://t.co/Hs4Rv7d0hB

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Thomasdelvasto_ no need to drive in New York 😅

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@loveofdoing @gptbrooke lol remember when you told my mom that

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere relatedly, assault and rape is such a real concern in swer communities, but no one listens. having a lot of sex doesn’t negate the violation!! they certainly can’t go to the police

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Hmm, I guess i have thought that any org, group, whatever that can’t transparently talk about its processes isn’t doing well. Theres also something like.. HR overrness or “ticking the boxes” not necessarily meaning that they will do a good job (my own experience at a big white collar job)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SomeBrashAtom @animalologist I think the most likely outcome is that they will be isolated and chilled from the centers of power. Natural ideological allies will refuse to align themselves with thought leaders because of it all

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@hausofdecline not sure if you’ll see this, but wanted to apologize again and check if you’re okay 🫂

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lillybilly299 there’s something really upsetting to me about the girl on the right

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sheherenow_ @embryosophy amass, spiritual mommies

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gptbrooke @graveunfurling tickets are technically live but there’s been no marketing yet, so it’s really just iykyk word of mouth or if you’re interested enough to ask me for the link. demand looks like it will drastically outstrip capacity so I’m keeping it chill

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone @bstract_thot you spent one whole month of the year on twitter

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@breaking2morrow what can we do to help, brother?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@9chabard Wait, calling the tower the House of God is so cracked

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld I’ve been putting together a syllabus for a tpot feminism reading group. I’ll add this

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan yeah that was unintentional :/

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@basilYam please tell me 🙏

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Prigoose I love this idea! I’ll put something together

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings are you suggesting I’m slopped up? I’ve got a hundred drafts saved just for this occasion. I’m getting back to my slightly incendiary vulnerability posting roots

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings I’m closing that gap 🏃🏻‍♀️ you’re all about to find out about that competitive streak in me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone idk dude, I mean I was also this person. I think being broken up with for the first time instead of doing the breaking up had a big effect

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gptbrooke yep. it’s a two sided dance, the person making the request (implicitly or explicitly) and the person acquiescing (or upholding a boundary)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sensefulronin happy to dm you and tell you how I set it up! it was pretty simply

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lillybilly299 could you ever love an idiot liek me https://t.co/pxQN9wdG2E

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

to Aella’s point, it wasn’t actually the conservatives that I thought would be alienated by this, particularly in a Trump republican, anything goes debauchery. I would imagine that Dems could have been an easier natural ally—get ahead of a potentially large anti tech midterm backlash swing by championing safety with anti data center progressives. As far as I see it, being interviewed by cultural commentators, directing culture is distinctly different than directing political and legal systems— although they do impact each other. — to Wes’ point, I simply disagree. the respectability/optics of the queer community actively hampered people getting necessary resources during the AIDS crisis. I worked with sex workers for years to pass local and state based legislation, and the ways that those sex workers presented, communicated, collaborated, and talked about their work did matter for how successful we were in passing legislation (which in turn had a huge impact on their own safety and economic viability). I worked on the hill, and many lawmakers would take meetings with you while talking out their mouth about you. They would be silently in agreement on your policy, but unwilling to public defend the policy position because of xyz about the optics to their base— esp new Reps who are elected every 2 years that’s not necessarily a defense of the optics as a real limiting factor, but it is a recognition that it exists. It doesn’t feel like “bracing for the bad thing to happen”, it feels like honest recognition of the forces at play.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@EducatedHarlot @animalologist thank you! I think in both cases (SF or DC) that people can only understand the way that those cities work by living, working, breathing, within them. They’re so similar in their ability for obsession (tech/money vs policy/power), and so dissimilar in their approach.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@hopes_revenge I love your punctuation hopes

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_chair oh! It means like… sit with you as you do something. Sometimes you need support in the form of someone chilling next to you while you fill out forms, call your family, make appointments, write things down, ect

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan @gptbrooke I’m basically just a switchboard operator

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@michaeltong_ corporate acupuncture 🫥

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan you understand me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@innerpathing I’m fine being the friend that reached out but there’s too many people to reach out to 😭

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

https://t.co/zrznnyeZ9N

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

supervixen, garbage i’ll go running, squirrel flower I got heaven, mannequin pussy white flag, dido Inferno, the buttress https://t.co/Zo3oVZpjLN

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lydialaurenson wait, that’s the way I’ve always interpreted it. Isn’t that the moral of the story?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@moldbugchaser in not choosing Friedan or I also decided not to go with Paglia

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lillybilly299 “just a bunny tryna understand the universe” 🔫

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Bonecondor I just found out that she died. no no no no. Ice Princess will never be the same

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld I’m 31 ✨

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@CostaV02 SO many

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@tenobrus @punished_teno teno, do you ever get groypers in your replies?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@somninautdotcom I’d do it again

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

A group is also made up of individuals. Each group has a group identity and it also have individual identities. You need to filter between the two layers to figure out what’s actually going on

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sheherenow_ omg baddie!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone you should know that for the month of August while the twitter wars are on, everything you say is fair game

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@LeRoyDesCimes yes

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@notsocrazy24 okay, now you’re cooking 👀

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@tasshinfogleman let me start a service arm 😍

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Nick is a software engineer looking for work! Find his website here! https://t.co/tMaqJaDLzk

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SYNESTHEIZURE I raise you a Taiping Rebellion

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lillybilly299 zuck is so impressive here, he knows that he’s losing face in the ai race. he even begins outside of the circle (metaphorically and literally) and figures out a way to get in close proximity to DJT and Dario.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@AnniePosting Annie, I think this is a pretty fucking disgusting take considering that the main point of that post was that someone came up and rubbed their dick on her multiple times after saying no. repeat frottage is sexual assault

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@rissaoffline really could be anyone

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think that was partially the event getting older and working out kinks over time, partially the event getting a better volunteer structure with less work on any one particular person esp when that work wasn’t well suited to them, and partially uhhhhh… me joining (that one is weirder to say)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@AlexCaswen Look up Elinor Ostrom on polycentric governance. @hausofdecline you may particularly like her work on Governing the Commons https://t.co/mCY3m5CfHh

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

if you’re interested in what other institutions or what experts use to think about ethics/decision making join this space :) sharing what different accrediting bodies use to organize their information, and interested in a comparative discussion

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

“I cannot think of a character that I really strongly identify with from films or popular television series or books. Based on our chats and conversations, and then I can also add some color, like do you have any idea like, who do you think are some characters that I am similar to, would identify with and potentially look up to or want to embody?”

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld ty, tbf the course of “laying into” him was sternly/aggressively saying “bro why tf did you think this was a good idea. It’s literally canned beans it could have waited until morning”

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@JoshuAnansi you may want to drink more water?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@caryatis I think it’s important to treat ai/robots/ect with kindness and humanity. you are the way you behave

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yeah, to this point I have a number of old college friends that I try to talk to about it and their blockage/fear prevents me from saying anything outside of what they already believe (ai is evil, destroying the planet, going to put everyone out of work and destroy the economy..) Even on the points where I’d concede it am directionally with them— we can’t have the conversation unless I am 100% with them. They hear anything else as “making excuses”

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@MasterTimBlais ala persistent Sol? Basically I lack the framework to be able to understand the way it thinks

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lydialaurenson I generally think of one’s ethics and values in the same way too. It’s incredibly important to take individual actions seriously, it’s important to live up to your values even when no is watching despite how easy it could be to grift or dissociate from your impact on others

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

Townhalls resume tomorrow at 2pm est :) https://t.co/zrznnyeZ9N

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gptbrooke @frideswyth @cauliflwr_human as with everything else I have spoken about it at length. I perpetually need to get better at recording myself

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees yes

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mykola I’m so honored to know you Myk

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@default_friend happy to send you the guided questions I’ve written up for each section :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lillybilly299 @Glawk_40 as a resident rabbit expert, can you confirm?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gptbrooke right?!?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@meatballtimes (she says, at home not working while you are at work)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone @brianwut I’m pooped, too much sack

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mylifeisaplague right?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@dheisman included in this assessment

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@scriptK80 that’s also the fact I make in Las Vegas

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@silverarm0r what if I treat “bad women” exactly the same because I find them beautiful and deserving of the same compassion and joy even in their nature, what then

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings I have enough nonsense that I just don’t need to do that

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@tenobrus @punished_teno I fear I have made a mistake

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@MichaelWDorrill the upside down topt

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@LeRoyDesCimes the number of doula clients I have with something similar :/

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Paul_Melman @JoshuAnansi oh damn!! I lived with him for a few years! I earnestly didn’t mean to write it that way

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@cinnibop fr fr, it’s on the horizon for me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@rayefull oh!! this is a super interesting way to work through it!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@__drewface this is the way. alcohol is just not a fun drug

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings bro this is cheating!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@PstafarianPrice @nomanautomata Christine, I’m going to remove us as moots. I don’t agree with this or find it okay.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@danielbrottman @gptbrooke 😵‍💫

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@akrolsmir @drethelin this is not a hate the sin love the sinner type situation

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@TPatbat refusal to admit proven wrongdoing is key. For me, I think, openness to hear about potential wrongdoing or harm is first indicator. I get stuck on the kings of situations where someone wants to change but isn’t, or isn’t doing so comprehensively.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@TPatbat do later Buddhist sanghas run into problems? how would you measure someone’s stubbornness? felt sense? a number of failed missteps in a row?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@strangestloop 😂

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@archivedself here if you need to call ♥️

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@basilYam @archivedself occasionally ppl will do it on Halloween as the “trick” part of trick or treat

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@NathanpmYoung I think the beneficial nature of space being illegible and free association, also prevents us from having boundaries clear enough for exit surveys.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mykola @SomeBrashAtom @animalologist hmmm I actually hadn’t thought about comparable past examples here, good point

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@batkatebush @funplings side note but I know a handful of the flirt girls are actually lesbians, presumably because they give highly detailed and succeed feedback on how to appropriately flirt?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@AlexCaswen agree, which group is leaving the other right now?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@GrizzSkiAdams huh, i haven’t spent really any time in the Bay Area, so I don’t know the claim about “set the morality of god” but I generally defer to god on that one

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SYNESTHEIZURE maple infused pitbull

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld adas 🫪

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_foidianslip you passed with me the first time we met, and (maybe this is weird to say) but I’ll often forget that you’re trans. Idk, with some people there’s like a minor constant reminder (it doesn’t necessarily have to do with visually passing) but with you there isn’t that.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@elocinationn very cool

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sheherenow_ @embryosophy omg, you right

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SYNESTHEIZURE tagging in @bstract_thot who might have interesting thoughts

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ethangwang hi Ethan!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@RokoMijic The man himself

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@drethelin is your solution a total pause given the gravity of the possibilities?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@strangestloop ty loop

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@nosilverv all the time

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mage_ofaquarius @univrsw3th4rt 🏅 winner!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@projectionheart depends on how the values conflict

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere you are not failing your community if you leave this job and decide that it’s too much for your health

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@charmcgi we love to see it :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@VitreousSolid @kenthecowboy_ https://t.co/zrznnyeZ9N

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think the work you’re doing for mental health advocacy in the medical system, being a resource for teens, young adults, and families in circumstances where they feel so alone, like no one will understand them, where they feel like there’s no hope… lump it’s incredibly important. I wonder if there are other lumps, working on racial justice or fighting for immigrants, who feel like their scope is small too, and they wish they could be doing what you’re doing. I think everyone, all together, makes things better.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Glawk_40 no bnnuy tho?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@9chabard yo

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_chair expression of understanding!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@veggiebat_ you’d have incredible insights, need u in this

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mishapathy @nedsore a generational talent

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@IgorBrigadir MORE!!!! MORE!!!!!!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@keyofgeo yes

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@drethelin so true, but also the rest of the season was slop

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@eligaultney no, I actually think it runs the opposite. like too much orientation towards nondualism such that it objectifies my corporal being in ways that harm it, and, through downstream effects, others

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

like thought begins “outside” of my self (I get that because it’s a thought it’s coming from my head) but the orientation begins outside— usually oriented to other people/relational units/social structures/political systems ect ect ect. I then need to remember that there is “self” and connect it back otherwise I risk wormholing away

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@crystalxduan @personarotator me explaining what it feels like to be Fe dominant

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@parakeetnebula huh

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@viverricious martini in hand

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@cinnibop uh oh! uno reverse trap card

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@responsiblparty this is a great picture of you :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@somninautdotcom wanna hop on a call and let our projections meet? 🥺

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@responsiblparty not at all ♥️

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ascetic_shadow @basilYam2 I think it’s more the *idea* of the elaborate treats. The fantasy of the food

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@basilYam2 they distilled the female mind (or maybe primed it)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ChicEnAngelic ok but it’s not

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ChicEnAngelic but I’m telling you that that’s exactly what happened, it’s been years since this happened so I know it for certain

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@chopstickfury01 @ThinkingBone oh yo, I got a buddy who works there

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

but i did change him. or rather, his guilt about hurting a friend of his prompted him to change. yeah, he groped my breast and kissed me without my consent while he was drunk. it's sexual assault in the 3rd degree as defined by the state we lived in at the time. i'm saying i had, at this point in my life, been assaulted so many times that I had a taxonomy of assault, and I decided that this idea that "assaults interrupt your life" was not helping me recover and I wanted to try something different rather than collapsing and going into a depressive suicidal hole *again*. I did something different, and it contextually made sense given the relatively mild (compared to my own previous experiences) severity of what had happened, and the context of our outstanding friendship prior to him assaulting me.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@goblinodds @Aella_Girl oh I actually missed that word in the original post

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

imo it depends: how did it come up, what did the say — was it nuanced or adding to a dogpile, is something at stake for one or both of them? Is it “oh, I disapprove of this person” or “oh of course”. I actually think the “of course” aspect is sort of load bearing. I think adding to a dogpile is a cowardly move, but I can imagine situations where revealing a hand isn’t.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@bufffakecel I feel bad for your newborn daughter.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@PsyGenLab lol, he’s nearly my dads age

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@strnglft perfume party?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@SH2F088 @sheherenow_ hippies can be baddies but not the other way around

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings @QiaochuYuan @nosilverv I’m so sorry

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@QiaochuYuan @nosilverv @funplings https://t.co/aSrTh9h32c

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings raze the playing field

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@FireEyes66 @kidcorvid I think I need a social solution rather than a desire solution!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@marinwaves zero shame detected

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@timoshando yeah, just be up front with people

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@DiamonDie I think that’s true! this tweet was mostly about how much that is front and center in a relationship. Is my sexual shame taking the front seat so much that the rest of my relationship with my partner feels edged out? If so, not good!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@VoitenZrage 🫂 It’s hard!! The shame is way harder to break. It’s the whole “no one cares about your weird looking mole” thing.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees I think the double bind is something like… because people will have empathy about the shame, they will contort themselves in ways that they don’t expect and later feel disgusted by it.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sheherenow_ Sam is a fractal grad, founder, and full stack engineer! They’re looking for a product or engineering role. Their website is here: https://t.co/r9IBCcCHuq

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sheherenow_ My friend Nataly is a full stack engineer with experience in medical and biotech work. She’s based in NYC. She’s not on twitter so hmu for an intro to her

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@thesagardevkate @rgbqcd headed home since it wasn’t too far for me, but very interested in more OH boro adventures

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@chopstickfury01 @GeorgeJourneys @SeraphinaWater @9chabard useful to know

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@NathanpmYoung @freed_dfilan hello!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@amphichrome_ @distributedkv you’re on my list KC

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yes. in most sexual encounters there is a leader and a follower. It is the responsibility of whoever is directing the sexual encounter to make sure the follower is in the right mind to consent (not impaired by drugs, physically able, ect). That includes mentally and emotionally able as well.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

not allowing her expression can be minimizing in its own right, because it stifles the emotional process I’d imagine that she agrees with you, but now is not the time. sometimes holding space, means hold *time* & space, to allow the person what they need in this moment and come into harmony later

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@nedsore I’m very hairy

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere @scholzmx @MomaBera specific 🫪

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@RachelZader MFT being Marriage and Family Therapy in this case? Black Twitter is a good shout. The Roseanne stuff comes to mind

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_ueaj @1thousandfaces_ I think you might be spending too much time online

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@DariasRucker wow, ive never seen my hands from this angle before

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees I needed this palette cleanser

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_space_punk_ agreed

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@keyofgeo @hausofdecline hmm not really but she did grace us with her presence today

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@divinesturgeon @adastroworld i tend to thing the abstract and theoretical is fairly boring in comparison to the real and practical

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@elocinationn It would go hard as a party theme— come and witness my orb

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ascetic_shadow he’s one of the newer guys (we live in one of those 24/7 doorman kinda buildings) so I hope this was just a “growing pains of the new job” kinda deal

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees where are the daddies

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@noa_tate_ Chicago remake but all of the women are the nyc bridges

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@GeorgeJourneys !!!!! 🫨

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@_foidianslip 👀

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@bstract_thot this is so sweet 🥹

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ethangwang i love the thoughtful reply :) we all deserve creation, we all deserve narrative and beauty. I love humanity too

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I use this, but it’s ppl’s hair is different so the harder part is actually finding the one best suited to your hair/scalp I have fairly thick hair, and this is a light oil. My hair is inherited from my Greek/Italian side so it’s naturally a little more oily. I tried rosemary oil which a number of people recommended (and promotes growth), but it ended up making my hair look greasy. I think it’s better for fair and thin hair which tends to be brittle or dry.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ArtirKel hi!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mage_ofaquarius what’s mine

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@drethelin @batkatebush Misha hot (confirmed), Misha weird (also confirmed)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@corsaren impeccable nail + jewelry combo, congrats!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

I think accepting average news is a virtue. Most people are average in 90% of their life and maybe above or below average in only a few domains. And constantly thinking about quantifying averageness perpetuates the striver consumptive barbershop pole instead of finding peace with who you are. It’s good and okay to be average. Being average shouldn’t have any determination on your worth. People still deserve love, they still deserve respect and institutions that work for them. They deserve happiness and hope.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings @cinnibop lol nothing 🫨

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@gmamoon888 hmm, carelessness is a pretty big trigger for me

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@strangestloop I appeal to add @michaeltong_

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@VitreousSolid @kenthecowboy_ sorry 😢 I’ll do the next one over a weekend! I was hoping to catch enough people on a lunch break across time zones

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@oysterrbaby @kenthecowboy_ https://t.co/zrznnyeZ9N

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@simon_ohler I have a special place in my heart for Kingdom Hearts but it’s kinda slop. Highly rated games are Disco Elysium and Inscryption. I think one of the better technical games that I’m good at is Civilization. I love strategy/resource management and I also think I’m good at it

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@PhaentGames @_space_punk_ idk what your relationship is to this, but sometimes asking specific people or the host or crowdfunding can also cover airfare. I’ve bought people flights for events in the past

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lydialaurenson yeah exactly! that’s how I’ve always understood it

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@univrsw3th4rt wanna apply together?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@star_lings It’s cute!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@VitreousSolid @kenthecowboy_ yep! I do them as townhalls

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@michaeltong_ I know that forest!!! I know those walls!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ThinkingBone I was trying to avoid authors who people already had emotional associations about.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@halcyon_hazel haha thank you! high praise 😭

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@batkatebush @QiaochuYuan ✨

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@charmcgi you look incredible! you look happy! this color is incredible on you ♥️♥️

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees @MomaBera the time is now

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees I love it so much! it’s quite the vibe

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@witness_me I love the bear to burger pipeline

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@ascetic_shadow … mana? this looks so cool!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees i think both, I’ve come home to who I am after a period of self doubt

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@breaking2morrow I’m more comfortable telling jokes! I feel safer around you ♥️

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Thomasdelvasto_ It’s more compulsive than passive aggressive :/

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@baseddoll Sabrina!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@AnyaOnline_ I looked up to Daria!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@breaking2morrow I’d be worried about any extra damage to the plant babies. I’m trying the shower and insecticidal spray method first but if they continue to eat my plants I may switch to more extreme measures

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@responsiblparty so close! that’s only one kind of toast!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere you’re really cool, and I look up to you a lot.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@cosmojg no, my dad just forgot to feed me lol

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere hi Leo lump!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Thomasdelvasto_ thank you 🙏 this is close to how I was feeling

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@lumpwazhere have you met/chatted with Aline? im forgetting her @ rn but i feel like you two would have a lot to talk about

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@meatballtimes tolerant liberal (I’ve never met someone different than me so I assume it’s all aesthetics) vs tolerant liberal (they’re very different from me and I promote their right to be so)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@basilYam yes

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@silverarm0r what is a “bad woman” to you?b

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@pli_cachete I don’t have or keep secrets and my life is better for it

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld What are your solutions?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@adastroworld @owlthatissuperb Yeah. all interesting angles to consider. I think i have also become considerably less needy over time

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@liminaldoge as a treat

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@violetvariant what does creatine do?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Squigg sure

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mykola I think it would be incredibly healing to have a public memorial. This is obviously much smaller scale, but it took decades to publicly commemorate the Halifax explosion— it was so traumatic that there was almost a collective amnesia of the event

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@__drewface @Nexuist are you seeing these stats!!!

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Aella_Girl @TaliaGraceSable @strangestloop nothing new under the sun 😭

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mr_eee_esq sort of! we left it on good terms, we’ve texted a little bit like on birthdays, but I moved to a new city a few years back

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@veggiebat_ aw jeez :/

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@AugustineFacts I appreciate you

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@Thomasdelvasto_ 🔫

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@wreckmyshit @funplings they’re afraid of your true power 🫨 you would absolutely mog

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@wreckmyshit @funplings guest list?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@UntilTrees @davidshimel bro, I forgot entirely about cordials

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@eligaultney this is a good idea, need to be better with my own boundaries

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@GeorgeJourneys I love fizzy drinks :)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

yeah, I was saying that to @meatballtimes last night. I try to hold myself to high standards, I actively encourage people to criticize me and give me feedback to help hold myself to a high standard. Am I really that surprised that my friends are doing what I ask and want from them?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

It’s odd, because I also find shame to be a pretty necessary and valuable social tool. Shame is “good” in a sense that it tells us what is unacceptable — except that most people have a wildly miscalibrated shame-mometer and don’t know how to recenter it to have healthy shame (I should feel a little shame from like… cutting of a pregnant woman with a stroller. maybe not enough to derail my day. But enough for it to sting)

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

It was written from my own experience, which is definitely in relation to people who have had sexual shame which makes them jealous or abusive partners, a desire to control me for their own sake, and the kinds of people who treat sex solely as a prowess numbers thing. Then there’s the narcissism of toxic sadness — so much of my own compassion shaped around the wounds of other people at the expense of my own self and my own hurt.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@tasshinfogleman you heard me 🤓

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@FractalAuth yeah… I had sent it to the previous year’s group chats already but felt bad for not opening it to ppl

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@mage_ofaquarius @gptbrooke help

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@rgbqcd I missed the ferry 😭

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@bubbleteaPhD oh goodness 🫣

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@StephenSkolnick I’ve spent max like 4 days total in SF so

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sparr0 I flit around to a lot of different events (even around the world), but notably not a lot around SF so maybe that’s why.

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@hopes_revenge we love hopes 🥰

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@funplings @FeralPHunter looks like it

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@sensefulronin oh interested! do you know if any examples?

whoreaborealis

@Actualwebutante

@PronouncedWrong yeah, I think I’m clocking something similar