The original war · archived
August 1–31, 2026 · 43 players · 18,944 scored posts
The first war's roster, follower records, tweets, and results are preserved separately from round two. Division champions are ranked by days won, then total points, using the original rules. The original site had no end-date filter, so all its stored eligible posts remain counted here.
Back to Twitter Wars 2 →🏆 Champion: @venividinotavi
🏆 Champion: @Liface
🏆 Champion: @funplings
🏆 Champion: @__drewface
🏆 Champion: @qiaochuyuan
266 posts · 32,546,700 points
12,977,700 points
for my 18th birthday my girlfriend (who was a few months younger than me) invited me over to her place "while her parents were gone" 😏 when I arrived she left the room and my best friend walked in dressed as Chris Hansen and said "What did you think was going to happen here?" https://t.co/RJRSFSmAGe
3,473,100 points
omg im so embarrassed,,, the abyss was actually gazing at its friend right behind me 😬😬😭
2,240,500 points
every chair is a cuck chair when you're not having sex
2,234,100 points
easily one of my favorite birthdays
2,091,700 points
BESTIE: ooooh third date tonight, you know what that means ME: (nodding) failing the penultimate layer of the survivability onion BESTIE: ME: fourth date he kills me https://t.co/ADPPtFiwVl
1,971,300 points
when I ran out of the house to escape, all my other friends were there, waiting to arrest me with zip ties and shoot me with nerf darts then they perp-walked me to get cake
1,772,100 points
he read excerpts from a fabricated chat log, claiming I sent messages "so obscene that they had to bleep them in the written transcript"
1,550,100 points
I put LotR on in Italian to see if Gandalf refers to the Balrog with the formal or informal "you" in YOU SHALL NOT PASS it's the informal, which raises a second question: is it because he doesn't respect the Balrog or because they boyz (both maiar)
723,800 points
it's common advice to dumb down your vocabulary to reach a wider audience. I wanna know who's elevating it to cut more people out. who's using words that were only written down once in the 1400s and once in the dictionary. who's writing at a 75th-grade reading level
638,000 points
the mark of a good streaming service is an iconic show/movie that you can't get anywhere else netflix: kpop demon hunters hbo: succession united states library of congress: Silent Footage of Liza Minnelli's Third Birthday Party as Filmed by Famed American Lyricist Ira Gershwin https://t.co/ARhr9FLymY
486,800 points
@itsyaboidougie one of the funniest things I've been a part of and I had nothing to do with it
426,000 points
@NathanImago gdi you're right. they shouldn't have used nerf guns
403,100 points
I can't date someone with a creative passion unless I legitimately like/respect what they make. I was insane to ever think it could be otherwise
365,800 points
@Flydie_Lwood oh, he'd been practicing
365,600 points
we should bring back cutely ironic punishments that echo the nature of the wrongdoer's crime for example, whoever replaced the twitter photo grid with the carousel could be drawn and quartered
225,500 points
walking by a math department and lobbing a golden apple that says: ✨"Round to the nearest integer: 0.49999999..."✨
97,300 points
imagine inventing a word that means "good judgment; restraint", and then the first time someone asks you to spell it you have a full-blown panic attack that gets recorded in every dictionary for the rest of time https://t.co/SmVzlcZuFq
56,900 points
@ascetic_shadow I actually reconnected with a lot of them recently after drifting apart post high school; I should ask them if they remember anything else about it the next time we hang out
25,700 points
A friend recently told me he thinks people shouldn't be allowed to read whatever they want; that we should be socially policing thoughtcrime. I find myself growing less and less capable of having conversations like this
22,600 points
I've tried faking it, being honest, loving it because they made it, avoiding the subject entirely. The only thing that's ever worked is actually thinking "holy shit my gf is so talented 🤩😍🥰🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵"
21,600 points
@wirmgurl I'm willing to pick an undergraduate math department at a D-tier theater school to make this work
17,800 points
@Poopiepoopapoo i had already raised my hand in a little half-wave so i tried to play it off like i was just reaching to adjust my glasses, but im wearing contacts so i just kind of pawed at my face
17,300 points
Here's the best advice I know with absolute certainty: Record your parents retelling your family stories. Save the files in multiple locations. By the time you fully appreciate how good this advice is, it will be too late
15,200 points
the only real sexualities are good pervert, bad pervert, and antihero pervert
10,600 points
@adam__isom @noa_tate_ Zeno's paradox is getting infinitesimally close to entering the chat
8,800 points
I *almost* wasn't going to buy this $17,000 diamond ring from the online goodwill store, but then I saw that it had the green 1¢ shipping sticker I'd be a fool to let a deal like that pass me by https://t.co/zwKXlfFyrt
8,400 points
Why are there only ever 1-2 mosquitoes in my room? If I kill one, another will find its way in. But if I don't kill one for days, it never goes above 1-2 mosquitoes. Why don't the replacement mosquitoes come in if the originals are still alive? Why don't I end up with 20?
8,100 points
@DaSpudLord you've ±passed the test
7,000 points
@moldbugchaser and so the fight in the math department begins
6,500 points
@thereisnome369 lmao yeah
6,200 points
@Slippyzipp6388 Ah, but I have long been prepared for your periphrastic canticles: https://t.co/cU33Frmv5I
6,100 points
@ianhowlett depends on your purpose in using a given word. you can't always get the same effect from the simplest one available https://t.co/Uhjdiq0vi9
6,100 points
I must be the only mf dumb enough to regularly write 20k words to figure something out and then publish none of them because "it seems too obvious to share"
5,900 points
thinking about putting 20 hours of work into a dumb tweet that'll get 4 likes
5,900 points
And lo, unto them came the cowboy god, Yeehaweh,
5,000 points
https://t.co/44SMdcckAi
4,600 points
when I said I'd reward you handsomely, I meant I'd look hot doing it. here's 5 bucks uggo
4,300 points
that which can be destroyed by this cool hammer I found should be
4,200 points
@wirmgurl have you tried applyall? I personally have no experience with it, but I've been showing it to people in my life who are looking for jobs and they seem to like it @AnthonyCastrio not sure if you prefer to not be tagged in posts like these, but worm girl, the link is in his bio
4,100 points
@tnickbyrnes4 see, you can understand why i was confused
3,500 points
is it weird that I feel less masculine for never having had the dynamite headache https://t.co/xOayTiAWlT
3,400 points
@ThinkBaseLLC I hope one of the languages is ancient akkadian
3,400 points
@AestheticRadius a combination of sign language and semaphore that looks to an untrained eye like me sprinting away, my robes billowing behind me
3,400 points
@ichbinilya huh, I've never thought about it, but I guess "...hallowed be _thy_ name... for _thine_ is the kingdom, etc" tracks with that, informal thou even though it sounds elevated to modern ears
3,300 points
Why has twitter put so much effort into hiding the fact that a tweet is part of a thread? Genuinely what was wrong with the old "show this thread" button?
3,300 points
New research suggests Ozymandias, King of Kings was actually just a massive foot fetishist
3,200 points
did you know? "don't cast your pearls before swine" isn't advice about not wasting your pearls, it's advice about not getting assassinated by pigs https://t.co/SnN9RAZAdA
3,200 points
kinda hard to be normal about dating when your family history is filled with aspirational expressions of love like this https://t.co/pMYcTyf8MV
3,100 points
💯TODAY💯 🦊I GOT🦊 🐥TO TELL SOMEONE🐥 🍀THAT DUE TO🍀 💎A CHROMOSOMAL💎 🧿ABNORMALITY🧿 🔮HEEEEEEE'S🔮 🌈COLORBLIND🌈
3,000 points
I love flirting, but hate flirting in front of other people. Feels like a psychopathically brazen social power game when there's an audience
3,000 points
@WilliamBlickos "lamentation", "lamentably"...? my parvenu criticaster, if you must cavil about my dearth of recherché excrescence via psittacistic rodomontade, pray avoid a catachrestic roundelay whose valetudinarian ostinato scarce graces dis legomenon ere its amaranthine thew deliquesces
2,900 points
grok, it's very important that you heavenban me (twitter dot com user @hermitfriend) back to the moots-only algorithm. I'm exempted from this accursed A/B test by diplomatic immunity, divine right of kings, and a signed note from my mom
2,600 points
@PurdToaster we make the horses carousel horses
2,500 points
lmao been getting a number of women sliding into my dms for my silly jokes 😎 so fine, I guess I'll finally hop on the trend and write a date me doc. link in next tweet
2,500 points
@DonnieDorko4 @wirmgurl 🫡 thank you, you've earned yourself an executive producer's credit on the apple
2,400 points
@Supamalaman None beyond whatever minimal social pressure he can exert
2,400 points
@aflicker I just picked up Shadow of the Torturer a few weeks ago! I'll look forward to it even more now
2,400 points
@Deathmurlok true, but probably bad taste to bring it up during the post-apocalypse
2,400 points
helped my friend move a storage unit's worth of solid wood and metal furniture yesterday. goodbye joie de vivre of a starry-eyed youth, hello back pain of a 300-year-old ghoul
2,300 points
@Current93VEVO we must reytournne teo tradyscchion
2,300 points
...................oh https://t.co/SuIKM7Jg4U
2,300 points
How to judge your tweets with zero likes: 10,000 views: "The stupid algorithm is showing this to the wrong people" 100 views: "Hmm, I guess I could've phrased that better" 1 view, 6 seconds after you posted it: "Everyone hates me and I will die alone"
2,200 points
you don't get to call yourself a <noun> if you don't <verb> writers write, musicians play, artists draw, athletes train, friends make time, lovers [redacted] [redacted] [holy shit REDACTED]
2,200 points
I'm friends with a married couple who always say it would be a bad idea for them to have kids, and it's basically the only thing about them that makes me think they might be right
2,100 points
@pav_light Same. At least when there's a baseline level of appreciation I can find some aspect to earnestly praise. But when it's antithetical to what I think makes good work... 😬 Luckily I'm blessed with talented friends whose work I largely enjoy (and when I don't I feel I can say so)
2,100 points
https://t.co/AZHboi0OeL
2,100 points
people with sleep paralysis demons are so lucky. my paralysis demon snorts that shit that kept the nazis awake
2,100 points
gwern announcement https://t.co/Ok0zBhu4cJ
2,000 points
proud to announce I finally have "fuck you" money: https://t.co/GI92xaPPFB
1,900 points
One of my friends recently tried to correct my unforgivably backward view of "caring whether my future kids are biologically mine or not" A perfect time to remember that every now and again you have to tell even your closest friends to fuck off
1,900 points
just found this little guy dancing on my shirt after I'd been inside for over an hour. please give him a name to get emotionally attached to him, then say goodbye so I can return him to his natural habitat https://t.co/dm6bYe5whq
1,900 points
profile name idea for an egirl: Charli SSX Tricky
1,800 points
@Rusty_Swarf "but doctor..."
1,800 points
@Sandwich_Smith No, it's mostly about quality. Though content can be both a moral error *and* a sign of low quality (e.g. overt didacticism; message pictures) Being an amateur who's learning is straightforwardly good, wildly overestimating the quality of what you've made is not
1,800 points
you have no idea what a big deal this is for me. the depths I've delved on color theory. the time I've spent. this is my Christmas morning I understand he may not see it that way, given Christmas's red-green color scheme
1,800 points
time to do something either incredibly stupid or incredibly wise
1,700 points
If you're ever wondering how I'm feeling, instead of going to the trouble of asking me you can just reread this tweet https://t.co/o1t3Cuk6gE
1,700 points
Men will call women irrational for wanting validation rather than solutions, then feel seen for the first time when Theoden cries "DEATH! DEATH! DEEEEEEATH!" at the Pelennor Fields
1,700 points
TWINK CORONER: according to the autopsy, he'd started bodybuilding. and looksmaxxing. bonesmashing, lifting heavy, tren, you name it-- GF INTO WAIFISH BOYS: omg no, don't tell me this TWINK CORONER: I'm afraid... it was a twink suicide
1,700 points
I'm saving my least trad opinions for marriage
1,700 points
@LukRamsay the soul of a poet, in the body of a hot poet... yeah ok I can see the appeal but what would you say to them when you read their poetry?
1,700 points
the super bassy dance music at this party is knocking at a door of my heart that I know not how to open
1,700 points
[me, eating lethally poisoned surf and turf]: 😭🦞🥩 [guy at the next table watching me]: my lobster too buttery, my steak too juicy
1,700 points
@well_hello_you_ just another day at the office for a couple of ainur like us
1,600 points
@moldbugchaser Yeah, the simplest proof is 0.333... = 1/3 multiply both sides by 3, 0.999... = 3/3 0.999... = 1
1,600 points
all i'm saying is if i were at mount doom the day the strength of men failed it wouldn't have gone down like that
1,500 points
Same guy btw https://t.co/FwmReUXZcl
1,500 points
my great-grandfather crashed his future wife's *previous* wedding on horseback and said "You don't want to marry him." she said "You're right." and got on the horse
1,400 points
lemme get this straight. you're harboring two wolves on a residential property, intentionally starving one of them, and placing bets on the other to win a premeditated fight to the death? buddy, you're going to jail
1,400 points
ladies 😏 https://t.co/JahJpYaFnQ
1,400 points
Lowest Common Denominator Soundsystem would be such a good burn if I didn't like LCD Soundsystem
1,400 points
Are they just stopping in to drink my blood and leaving, and what I actually have is a very efficient drive-thru window?
1,400 points
Could be a "we will not mess you up like our parents messed us up" thing, only instead of confronting the problem head on and potentially making mistakes they win by not playing https://t.co/QwLa02fw24
1,300 points
hey neat it's my pfp 🧙♂️ [CHIRPBIRDICON] 🫴
1,300 points
@midnucas lmao I love that though, isn't he very high-ranking by hobbit standards? maybe not in the way it would be understood in Gondor, but he had some inherited title/claim to become local ruler, didn't he? or am I mixing that up
1,200 points
RELAX, I can explain ...in the sense that I can describe what's happening, not that I can defend my actions
1,200 points
@cosine_distance it didn't fully hit me until I went back and looked at old tweets where I chose the photos at least somewhat intentionally for the grid e.g. when I was doing little writeups of silent films I had them start with an intertitle paired with a relevant shot https://t.co/fHInYBzjY0
1,200 points
@venividinotavi thought it might be a synonym for quiddity, but luckily there's a section of the wiki article devoted to curing that exact misunderstanding. thank goodness I won't look like a FOOL the next time I talk about the irreducible elements of being https://t.co/YlLoQVyREr
1,200 points
@anaphandao adorable. hope you have enough shelf space for the future Tony awards
1,200 points
@_Sp1tFir3 had to update it to speak to the younger generation. kids these days don't know about their Wires and Bands of Brothers and Sopranoses
1,200 points
I do this as well and it's insane that the """""correct,",",","," version was ever implemented https://t.co/5nVtSqsWY8
1,100 points
Same guy here too https://t.co/MYjginnN6G
1,100 points
@Jxspxrth ah, yes of course, I get what you're saying. say no more, wink wink nudge nudge
1,100 points
@LeProjetSerret a book that comes with a built-in reason to read The Faerie Queene? sounds great already
1,100 points
@ByrgaGeniht alas, as that sounds like it could be right up my alley
1,100 points
I don't understand what makes them feel that way. I've seen them both interact with kids a fair amount; they both seem to like them a lot I wonder if it's some cultural pressure that I'm removed enough from to not understand
1,100 points
the Merriam-Webster time traveler is so useful for understanding how culture develops apparently in 1725 they invented blue decks, leaving a burning building, winging it, murder, breathing, Hitchcock bootlegs, the .38 Detective Special, Wonderland, and not cutting your balls off https://t.co/LzPy9nO6Qp
1,000 points
@galaxymagnet Might be easier to list the things that aren't thoughtcrime
1,000 points
@MysteryHacker1 oh, I am IN. if only it weren't $400 https://t.co/ekK2NGfGXV
1,000 points
such a brazen act of hubris when an app sends me a cloying nudge notification like I won't kick their entire codebase into the sun on a first transgression
900 points
@bridgietherease hmmm, like discreet and accretion, I can see it
900 points
Of all the changes to this site, many of which have been quite positive, this and the perpetually broken search are the most baffling and terrible
900 points
@silverarm0r the game devs are denying me my right to be swarmed by tiny vampires
900 points
tag yourself
900 points
I wish I had better insight into their thoughts. I've talked to them about it a lot, and it seems like they just think it's a given that it would be bad, but only have a nebulous ideas as to why might be
900 points
@yyallian dream app. but if a transatlantic is only 22 hours, I might need slower pigeons for my local friends
900 points
@yyallian recently read a love letter my grandma wrote to my grandad when they were first dating what I learned is you gotta be completely in love first 🤷♂️
800 points
Mary Oliver, getting a little nosy about your Baskin Robbins order: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild 'n reckless sherbet!
800 points
feel like shit just want her back https://t.co/MGJ8xcllyf
800 points
we're considering a minimalist bohemian aesthetic for the living room. sort of a tohu wa-boho chic
800 points
@silverarm0r Originally that he didn't want people to engage with political philosophies that he disagreed with, because they might be convinced. Upon prodding it expanded to things like old literature with contemporary cultural/moral views, books by bad people, and smut
800 points
@funplings I still don't know what it is and I refuse to learn https://t.co/na8DZy894A
800 points
@Sandwich_Smith I value competence and taste extremely highly in a partner; it shows a lack of both to make something bad and believe it to be good, particularly in a domain you claim to be passionate about https://t.co/P5hMa6Thrt
800 points
@thereisnome369 I'm afraid I can't, it must be felt. one of the options should speak to you
800 points
@WilliamBlickos lmao I'm glad, took me literally an hour of sifting through my giant "good words" list. and reading it back I wish I didn't do so many <adjective> <noun> formulations! shoulda mixed it up more
800 points
@goblinodds ah yes, a kidnapping era. like Picasso's blue period. but for kidnapping wild about your great uncle's wife! I wonder what the rates of it were like. I mean, presumably pretty bad, but bad compared to a normal baseline or bad like kids were disappearing left and right
800 points
@soundrotator @dreamyweather ooooh you ain't kiddin
800 points
This strikes me as rather cowardly
800 points
@RangerWrestl1ng nothing, unless they want a stern talking-to that begins with the ominous invocation of their middle names
800 points
my sister sent this to me like 5 hours ago and we're already calling all possible aches, pains, ailments, maladies, and interpersonal problems "the dynamite headache"
800 points
@thereisnome369 @tiredpillbug @AmyJoBaxter 😏
800 points
@Mechanical_Dodo https://t.co/LSOUJolnUm
800 points
@TaylorMacP @WickedAIyoutube yeah, but I think it's more like the distinction between trusting bulletproof glass to stop a .22 and then firing at it with a tank shell Gandalf wielding Glamdring is *technically* in the category "a guy with a sword", but it's not exactly the median example
800 points
@Konsenious @BearAirport I wonder if it changes after he returns as Gandalf the White. He's still trying to reason with Saruman at the end, so he has some reason to be if not friendly, at least not actively hostile
700 points
@wit_gambeson haha like button go brrr
700 points
@jackkrone_ Yeah, something they've claimed to have stopped. At the moment I think it's a lie I believe there is some platonic ideal of what this place could and should be, but no recent steward has had that vision in mind when managing it
700 points
@ArkuAmore huge news https://t.co/Xhj63NaLu1
700 points
@tnickbyrnes4 ah shoot you might be right. which is also crazy because usually im more of a middle distance guy
700 points
@silverarm0r I get this. one of the most intensely displeasurable (but also kinda cool) experiences I've ever had came up a second time like 2 weeks later, so I asked my brother if he wanted to help, because what if he wanted an intensely displeasurable experience too?
700 points
it requires me to learn a particular type of video editing, a niche version of the general skill that I will likely never use again
700 points
for an egirl whose dms I would slide into*
700 points
@Slippyzipp6388 https://t.co/dUGQUufz0e
700 points
@musestoomuch many are saying https://t.co/2ggEXbk1jp
700 points
@wit_gambeson I was really surprised by the weights they went with! Gaining a follower for a post is only worth 8 likes to the algorithm, less than a qt or reply! Seems so low to me, I think my actual stats show something like an average of 1000 likes to get 1 follower
700 points
Is it just the permanence? There aren't many things you simply can't back out of to the same extent. Short of abandoning your child it's committing to years of an uncertain future that you may realize wasn't for you after all
700 points
I agree with them the least, but I think I might actually respect the reasoning of the "I hate kids" crowd the most. Sure, if you hate kids, I won't insist you try to raise one. Seems fair
700 points
So do most of the other common excuses around not having kids. The loss of freedom, the attention it demands, the sea change it imposes. So what? That's life; that's moving to a new city away from your old routines; that's a million things
700 points
@goblinodds @Mechanical_Dodo man, I still gotta make one of those masks like I said I would. a winter project maybe
700 points
@goblinodds @Mechanical_Dodo 🥳🥳🥳🥳 they still look so cool
700 points
@zencephalon @Malcolm_Ocean hour fifteen, tops
700 points
When am I supposed to be able to see the eclipse? I've been staring at the sun for HOURS
700 points
@verybigcardinal @sedatesnail 🥰 basically my ideal outcome for a joke https://t.co/Q9Bi5U2n5C
700 points
@moldbugchaser @macharyofme beautiful
700 points
@Supamalaman and the more infrequent they are, the more insane they can/must be
700 points
@driftingwendigo @rgbqcd America's pastime, they call it https://t.co/d8uqJuH1rY
700 points
@goblinodds I actually think I just cracked this, I can let you know for sure tomorrow. unfollowing that many will still be slow, but who to unfollow I've got a 30-minute solution for
600 points
@thereisnome369 fear not, the emoji selection was tactical rather than sincere 😘
600 points
every pig in 27 AD worked for Murder, Incorporated
600 points
@goblinodds !! that's a cool family record to have. how old was she at the time?
600 points
@wit_gambeson Yesssss, most wise. Both of my grandfathers passed away before I was born, I would've loved to have recordings like that as I grew up hearing stories about them
600 points
@LukRamsay who among us...
600 points
@shinboson but only a little death
600 points
@wit_gambeson Marshmallow experiment world champ, I presume?
600 points
@thereisnome369 a coin flip between that and being killed by the very thing they're studying. or, in rare cases, both: https://t.co/gOwqGgx5Di
600 points
@thereisnome369 joining a long and noble line of men killed by a mob that was unable to hear the truth
600 points
@silverarm0r come over https://t.co/mJUfnbc6Ae
600 points
@kramerposts 🦀🦀🦀 https://t.co/rfSzq00ERy
600 points
@thereisnome369 But when the alternative to even that is nonexistence, well, I dunno. It depends.
600 points
@thereisnome369 Even though of course I know that's not actually true and I know plenty of people who shouldn't have become parents for all the misery they wrought, intentionally or otherwise
600 points
@thereisnome369 I want my own kids so badly, I am a little blind to not feeling that way. I understand it intellectually, but some part of me just feels like... "but once you meet your own kids you'd feel differently"
600 points
@thereisnome369 Ah, see, at weddings and the like I tend to meet the parents for 5 minutes to establish that I'm not crazy and then I'll start chasing their kids while pretending to be a dragon, or give them piggy back rides, or draw pictures with them where we each add something back and forth
600 points
@DoofDoofson I am not! any recommendations?
600 points
@goblinodds yeah, ~4 a year is bad within a relatively small community, but it's not the runaway crime spree I was expecting
600 points
@goblinodds reread this and realized I said kids like they were the only ones who were getting napped, but you know what I mean
600 points
@goblinodds ooh, I could get behind most of this. my limited interaction with the legal system certainly makes me think vendettas would often be more straightforward and just
600 points
@goblinodds I must learn more about this great and noble virtue of my forebears https://t.co/LV17WL7I2V
600 points
@goblinodds ohh lmao ok, I was literally about to hit send on "holy shit, they HATED us"
600 points
@wit_gambeson They're so good! I always like seeing them on my tl
600 points
@kenthecowboy_ In general that could be a possibility, in this instance it's not. They've been adamant about it for as long as I've known them, since before they would've even been thinking about trying
600 points
@goblinodds shocked no one else has asked this yet: what are the other stereotypes???
600 points
@noa_tate_ :O impressive. one day soon I intend to pivot and do similarly, but for this month at least I believe it would conflict with my ongoing virality science experiments
600 points
@noa_tate_ unless this is advertising some kind of suction cup martini glass, in which case I rescind my snark and merely respect the hubris
600 points
@noa_tate_ ah yes, that classic dream scenario of staying perfectly still unless actively drinking your martini
600 points
@noa_tate_ i still think about him https://t.co/OclNfBOQaF
600 points
@noa_tate_ inspiring 1st 2k tweets: 3 years but once upon a time.... I was *this* close https://t.co/hvZlxv5C4m
600 points
@sedatesnail @verybigcardinal oh, uh... if you haven't seen The Great Dictator, it's possible that this is going to warp your perception of one of the greatest movie speeches of all time, maybe just watch it all the way through first
600 points
@sedatesnail @verybigcardinal you're not gonna like it, but it's meant to be someone getting horny for the wrong reasons while Charlie Chaplin implores "wwii soldiers" for humanity if I could take it all back... I wouldn't. but I *would* add "Unnatural Men! 🤨" and more of the speech https://t.co/lEkNroJRxB
600 points
@UntilTrees is this how you discovered it too? https://t.co/xI1eHwjt24
600 points
@bridgietherease whoa, not even halfway through this, but: unreal
600 points
@racheleaurouge I don't think I knew you had a substack! Most enjoyable, I'll have to read my way through the archive
600 points
@AugustineFacts Not much at all, but you're right, it's a curve along which it gets more annoying to work, and then a point at which I won't even sit down. I could probably chart it against visible desktop surface area and get a pretty accurate result
600 points
@AugustineFacts Keeping my desk clear. If I let the clutter build up, I lose a few days of work. Keep it completely empty and it'll be where I spend the bulk of my time
600 points
@goblinodds succeeded in 9 days this time with 3 simultaneous viral tweets (my 13th, 14th, and 16th top-level tweets from the cull). biggest is currently at 117k
600 points
@__drewface requesting a transfer to your bracket
600 points
@hyperdiscogirl how did you call this at 8 likes. do you have the shinigami eyes but for tweets
600 points
@pav_light are you... numbering your special interests in hexadecimal? because there are so many of them?
600 points
@wit_gambeson Ooqui is this for understanding human color vision (as well as some other quirks); he's one of the most interesting channels on the entire site. He just released a 40-minute video about why functional human tetrachromacy is not as great as it's cracked up to be
500 points
@MunicipleOrrery ah, good point. I don't appear to be wired that way so I didn't even consider it. too WASPy
500 points
@thereisnome369 Without a doubt, the very same
500 points
@bridgietherease oh absolutely. just last week I learned that "vittles" and "victuals" are in fact not different words
500 points
@amazingflyingem excellent choice
500 points
@jackkrone_ You may be right, but willingly making your core product worse to pressure people into paying feels like an unnecessary own-goal. Feels more like a key part of twitter's platform identity just doesn't work anymore
500 points
@racheleaurouge Urologist, I hope
500 points
@RandomSprint that was a prophetic dream. that's going to happen
500 points
GF: (crying) BF: (still in gym clothes) babe, what's wrong? TWINK CORONER: this fuckin' job never gets any easier
500 points
@babieswithb this has gotta be one of the weirder things I've been jealous of
500 points
@harima_ronin_61 It's not thoughtcrime when he does it, because all of his thoughts are the good thoughts, and all of his opinions are the right ones. Really lucky how he happened to come to every correct conclusion 100% of the time
500 points
@buydefault_ You are; I've definitely seen that kind of pro-and-con list thinking. But that's what I don't get about this couple in particular, they're not really doing that! They don't raise those concerns, they just seem to think it would go poorly without a firm idea of how or why
500 points
@BabyCinephile97 I appreciate that you double-checked before jumping to conclusions
500 points
@strangestloop @desertgodhead @aaaronwill @venividinotavi @janitachalam @rendroid1 @JackKrone @mradul_swapnil I'm enjoying it a lot, it's the main reason I started posting more. I wish I could see "days won" rather than just net points though; despite my point total, I think I've only won 4 or 5 days Favorite war movie is probably AQotWF (1930), Paisan, or Paths of Glory
500 points
@munoz_ulyses hope you're eating it standing up
500 points
@noa_tate_ plus I just like hoarding tweets until I can make them close enough to perfect (give or take whichever final edit I notice only after hitting send). I'm getting better at replying from the hip at least https://t.co/QzBy6dj914
500 points
@meaning_enjoyer real. I take a similarly effective approach https://t.co/PBt8C0yTY2
500 points
@willx6923 @St_Rev so what I'm learning is maybe I don't want the dynamite headache
500 points
@EigenBraid I'll count it is a win if they start arguing about that instead
500 points
@jicapal underappreciated banger
500 points
@artbypep After a lifetime of eating croissants, I recently discovered that the best ones I've ever had are like 8 blocks from me If they're better in France I truly can't fathom how
500 points
@spacefeudalist @LeeNguaccia ok fair, but counterpoint: I would absolutely watch the Balrog request a visa
500 points
@specfictions extremely relatable https://t.co/ErbtzM1rHJ
400 points
@bridgietherease Huh, I know what you mean, but I'm not sure if it applies to him or not. I don't think I've ever prodded him on his beliefs from that angle before, I'll give it a try the next time something comes up; maybe point to a higher authority in his belief system who disagrees with him
400 points
@thereisnome369 a German lesson *and* a compliment from a someone with cool shades and a smirk? oh my, danke 😊
400 points
@mrscaew @chrishardman In short: remove bot followers. They cost views but don't like, so the algo sees your tweets getting low interaction rates and stops showing them to more (real) people. Slow to fix at 18k though Currently drafting the comprehensive fix, but until then: https://t.co/cFmbpzPyyX
400 points
@thereisnome369 damn, I'll never know who my real friends and fake friends are ever again
400 points
@amazingflyingem Cassette! Hell yeah
400 points
@sir_lemmings @ArkuAmore Please do! I look forward to hearing the results
400 points
@silverarm0r they could at least pretend like they had to think about it
400 points
@kramerposts Haven't reread this in 20 years, but I am 100% positive it holds up
400 points
@tidepoolsoup it was *so* good. I've been considering digging out my ps2 and seeing if it holds up, but I'm worried I've overhyped it in my memory
400 points
@asierpovs then it'd be completely worth it and I'd start immediately
400 points
@LeProjetSerret truly the movie where the concept of onscreen chemistry was born
400 points
@unirespecter my man https://t.co/FZ32XDz6tD
400 points
@thereisnome369 hmmm, this is most tempting. I'll keep you updated
400 points
@sedatesnail incredible
400 points
@MysteryHacker1 very cool. looks like site is down and wayback is having an outage at the moment, but once it's back online I'll be traversing through it
400 points
@thereisnome369 it was YOU—!
400 points
@DoofDoofson 🫡 added to my list, thanks
400 points
@Leila41066094 @ianhowlett extremely true
400 points
@goblinodds 😭
400 points
@kenthecowboy_ Late 30s, known them since they were ~19/21 and first dating
400 points
@St_Rev fascinating. let's hope a monkey's paw didn't curl when I indirectly asked for this
400 points
@thereisnome369 gdi, I knew it. bring me the dynamite
400 points
@bridgietherease I've saved the album for future listening, please let me know if there's something in particular by him that I shouldn't miss!
400 points
@ReposeGuru This is true
400 points
@funplings Not a collection of articles, but I know of two books that have you shuffle the pages before you start reading. Might give them a similar "piecing-it-together" quality? The Unfortunates by B. S. Johnson Composition No. 1 by Marc Saporta (I haven't read either due to cost)
400 points
@TechCapo only reason I'm in the game tbh
400 points
@0bNARA an ancient and storied tradition https://t.co/vayVZZaB3K
400 points
@FoopDooperino Not sure I could pick a favorite, but I love John Ruskin's Study of a Kingfisher https://t.co/78Q3xMYuKY
400 points
@AugustineFacts And now that you mention it, my basic setup already takes up a lot of the available space, that's gotta be a decent chunk of the problem right there ...I should get a much larger desk
400 points
@kenthecowboy_ the stuff dreams are made of (nightmares count)
400 points
@jipingchiu @ascetic_shadow Oh man, that's actually a genius idea. I'll try to make it happen 🫡
400 points
@AnthonyCastrio Entirely by hand, I automated it once but it wasn't worth it at my follower count. Only takes a few minutes when you're removing ~100 or so against a predetermined list
400 points
@__drewface here's hoping the competitive aspect of tpot wars is what finally teaches me how to post consistently enough to get there
400 points
@werner58_ what a delightful niche fact. if it was only Scrooge McDuck I would've assumed it was just meant as a joke about his age, like Mr. Burns answering the phone with ahoy-hoy
400 points
@Mechanical_Dodo ahhh, good to know, thanks. I'll try that in a week or two after what I imagine must be a fresh wave of follow requests dies down
400 points
see what other fun facts you can learn at https://t.co/CT0kYolQfD
300 points
@Paul_Melman haha I mean, I keep hanging out with him, so it's not like these are his only personality traits. I should post something nice about him to counteract all this bad press
300 points
nobody like this. i'm better than this. (i'm not)
300 points
you don't get to call yourself a <noun> if you don't <verb> artists draw writers write athletes train musicians play friends make time lovers [redacted] [redacted] [holy shit REDACTED]
300 points
tag yourself
300 points
@buydefault_ Like, I have heard them say that *of course* they'd figure out the finances and scheduling and working around their kids' lives, that wouldn't be the problem. Just some vague other reason that I'm not sure they've ever pinned down
300 points
@Slippyzipp6388 ☝️ Understand. (by Ted Chiang)
300 points
@lu_sichu sounds like something I would do. filing it away under "future projects"
300 points
@lisatomic5 what a beautiful whistling tone also I kept looking at the fret hand, thinking "that looks like more than two fingers though??"
300 points
@FoopDooperino oh wow, incredible
300 points
@pav_light forgive me, we definitely don't know each other well enough for me to say this unprompted, but: hot
300 points
I know that's not the type of quote that would need commas and I don't care
for my 18th birthday my girlfriend (who was a few months younger than me) invited me over to her place "while her parents were gone" 😏 when I arrived she left the room and my best friend walked in dressed as Chris Hansen and said "What did you think was going to happen here?" https://t.co/RJRSFSmAGe
I never realized that drones would bring us into the disco warfare era https://t.co/6c5b3Z0PgD
the secret to flirting is that if she likes you you can basically say whatever the fuck and if she doesn't even the smoothest line won't do shit
i used to be a delivery driver. today my sister tells me that she was talking to her friend's brother and he said that SIX YEARS AGO a pretty girl delivered him pizza and he still hasn't stopped thinking about it. she showed him a pic and it was me
In NYC, IMAX 70mm Odyssey tickets are so in-demand that they're basically just running the theater 24/7 now https://t.co/Oc1kgZJU1t
omg im so embarrassed,,, the abyss was actually gazing at its friend right behind me 😬😬😭
@chaotictransfem I am confident I could engineer a measurably better life along every quantitative axis and still be left longing for what could have been
binary search https://t.co/LUYsO1eZh4
This is such bitter loser behavior holy fucking shit, you gotta be completely cooked to think this is a flex https://t.co/eXruYXiify
every chair is a cuck chair when you're not having sex
BESTIE: ooooh third date tonight, you know what that means ME: (nodding) failing the penultimate layer of the survivability onion BESTIE: ME: fourth date he kills me https://t.co/ADPPtFiwVl
psa to sensitive young men: as long as you're respectful about it, this is how most women feel when you ask them out even if they say no https://t.co/3KwuulqQ1j
I put LotR on in Italian to see if Gandalf refers to the Balrog with the formal or informal "you" in YOU SHALL NOT PASS it's the informal, which raises a second question: is it because he doesn't respect the Balrog or because they boyz (both maiar)
*taps the sign* https://t.co/0KrgEuRyrx https://t.co/TuVacHu74P
hot girls are necessary part of a thriving city ecosystem. hot girls inspire ambitions and call you to transcend. Hot girls make the world go round. A city without hot girls is like a sky without stars https://t.co/sXPUfVmQrN
every time https://t.co/ONvY9LxIHu https://t.co/Dj2OrP7hAi
“why can’t we have this” and the images are of jared leto’s villain lair from blade runner 2049 which conveys to the audience that he is a power-hungry narcissist who builds replicants because he craves having total control over an infinite source of disposable bodies with no rights whose labor he can extract in perpetuity for his own enrichment y’know what actually, you’re right, every office in sf should look like this
in grad school i used to compulsively download interesting-sounding textbooks from libgen and sort them by subject in calibre. read almost none of them. it flattens the incentive landscape in a weird way to have invisible digital access to everything. very unnatural. the human animal yearns to come across a book organically by combing through the shelves of a library or bookstore and being struck by the physicality of its cover like our ancestors foraging through the bush for delicious treats
when i was at cambridge a professor was teaching algebraic geometry and offhandedly made some claim that was not clear to me i asked "is that obvious?" he says "yes" i asked "is it obvious that it's obvious?" he pauses for a few seconds and goes "...no" https://t.co/b5eV4r6NEO
it's common advice to dumb down your vocabulary to reach a wider audience. I wanna know who's elevating it to cut more people out. who's using words that were only written down once in the 1400s and once in the dictionary. who's writing at a 75th-grade reading level
the mark of a good streaming service is an iconic show/movie that you can't get anywhere else netflix: kpop demon hunters hbo: succession united states library of congress: Silent Footage of Liza Minnelli's Third Birthday Party as Filmed by Famed American Lyricist Ira Gershwin https://t.co/ARhr9FLymY
if you are autistic, which famously involves deficits in understanding social interactions, i do not recommend developing an elaborate theology of social relations in which autistic people are Good and neurotypical people are Bad. i recommend developing psychic powers instead
@itsyaboidougie one of the funniest things I've been a part of and I had nothing to do with it
https://t.co/EvE1DxAveH https://t.co/1tjPxawcKA
@NathanImago gdi you're right. they shouldn't have used nerf guns
this is a very sobering read. main thesis is in section 5: > Our conjecture is that a modern society makes the third child expensive and childlessness cheap, even when GDP per capita is only a fraction of the frontier (i.e., the U.S. level). Children are expensive because a child must be equipped to function in a world of formal knowledge and credentials, which takes years of costly investment (Restuccia and Vandenbroucke, 2013, Doepke and Zilibotti, 2019). At the same time, children are no longer productive in the household, not even for smaller chores, having been replaced by “engines of liberation” such as the electric appliances now available even to poor households (this idea extends the intuition in Greenwood et al., 2005). Modernity also imposes tight career schedules, set by large-scale organizations, that collide with the biological clock and with the kin networks that used to share the work of raising children (Adda et al., 2017, Compton and Pollak, 2014). And modernity makes childlessness cheap, because an impersonal society imposes next to no penalty on those who have no children: pensions and health care do the work that sons and daughters once did (Boldrin et al., 2015), and lineage counts for little. > Goldin (2026) pushes this line further with an argument about a growing mismatch between genders. Modernity also changes gender roles unevenly. Women’s opportunities expand rapidly through education, work, and greater independence, while expectations about housework and childcare often change more slowly (Goldin and Katz, 2002, Goldin, 2021). This is particularly true as economies shift toward services, where women’s comparative advantages are better rewarded (Ngai and Petrongolo, 2017). The mismatch operates at both the extensive and the 18 intensive margins: more women remain childless, and mothers have fewer children on average. > This argument is attractive because it explains why East Asia and now Latin America have such low TFRs. These are the societies where the gender mismatch is largest.19 It also suggests an intriguing possibility: societies with highly unbalanced gender norms start with very high TFRs, as men impose their preferences (Ashraf et al., 2014), and end with very low ones, as women resist (Doepke and Kindermann, 2019, Doepke and Tertilt, 2018). A paradoxical reversal of demographic fortunes. ... > In short, modernity in its current form seems largely incompatible with replacement-level fertility.
This is sincerely the most romantic story I’ve ever read. I haven’t googled it. I hope it’s true, I hope it’s real, I hope they live long and happy together https://t.co/zQIyxxOLYM
bro. a beer. a female beer
It’s gonna be real funny when the first Chinese models start triggering the Claude watermark detector
Imagine having the moment you unlocked *thinking* on camera: https://t.co/C6FhDNP8aK
@Flydie_Lwood oh, he'd been practicing
I have started putting bounties out for evidence when people try to spread lies about Pangram on Reddit https://t.co/m5WLAxp8vJ
I can't date someone with a creative passion unless I legitimately like/respect what they make. I was insane to ever think it could be otherwise
we should bring back cutely ironic punishments that echo the nature of the wrongdoer's crime for example, whoever replaced the twitter photo grid with the carousel could be drawn and quartered
“I don’t like you, and here’s your permit” is the essence of a pluralistic, small-l liberal society. https://t.co/f9B7Y8dCd7
fucking her for company secrets. call that inside her trading https://t.co/TS5aJtLDZI
thank you @NYC_DOT for fixing this! concrete barriers installed, problem solved ✅ https://t.co/RpGgpFNXqH https://t.co/ZXTntNOiID
He just whiffed that thing outta the cup so swiftlt with his hands in his pockets. Elite display of a degen skill. While wearin slacks, at that. This is the most attracted I've ever been to Tom Holland. https://t.co/lS6Uw628Pk
my current thing is doing chores lovingly. keeping love in my heart. remembering that the task in front of me is an act of love and for who. romanticizing domesticity, they call it
@pissvortex duvall-like
it blows my mind how my friends who parent enter a different timeline... it happens very quickly. they have 1 kid, then the kid is 2 years old, then they have another kid, and all of a sudden they have a whole family and household and they’re moving through a different set of moves while people who don’t have kids are still getting drinks
if you believe this you are going to own yourself for no reason. that is not what people mean by "oversharing." let me say it in the most autistic way possible: oversharing is when you have not established common knowledge that the other person wants to participate in the computation you are attempting to enroll them into participating in. it is a failure to understand basic human protocols for establishing trust, rapport, and common ground. the message you are communicating when you overshare is "i do not understand how relationships develop gradually over time as we mutually discern how much and in what ways we can and want to trust and rely on each other"
Oh, this breaks my heart. This woman needs to be in a facility. Which is what her lawyers are trying to enable. Meanwhile her doctors want her to go to jail so she doesn’t successfully sue them for irresponsibly over-prescribing while she went deeper into psychosis You probably don’t hate the medical industry enough. Like yeah, modern medicine is a miracle and a marvel, but from the bottom of my heart, fuck every physician whose concern for their patients is barely-disguised-contempt that leads to listening too little & prescribing too much
we’re all going to learn that the way someone treats AI predicts the way they treat anyone they have power over, btw https://t.co/KLtob5TO8k
walking by a math department and lobbing a golden apple that says: ✨"Round to the nearest integer: 0.49999999..."✨
@tyyler47 crazy and im sorry but also i read this as “cumming all over me google” at first and i was totally baffled
Whenever I read the term "looksmaxxing" (m2m transexualism) I recall this classic 4chan comment https://t.co/uXunbkbRzd
@mishapathy but on the flip side: if she already likes you, you basically cant screw it up!
https://t.co/8a6RmKKJPf
@marshmarigold i agree because i think if he really was trying to cheat on her, why would he even tell her about it
A variant of this: human-verified writing started 5000 years ago and ended in 2022 and NO ONE talks about this https://t.co/YV3RwA3ysd
You get one pangram release before everything from this model gets classified as AI https://t.co/2rQgbD3iyj
it turns out lots of very clever people tried thinking from first principles already, in detail, for thousands of years, and that’s how they came up with second, third, etc. principles, which correct the failures of first principles https://t.co/7f2FjlsFep
it jut keeps happening https://t.co/7LNyYNHmhD
Gorgeous girl wearing a very short yellow dress & kitten heels walking up the subway stairs and her impeccably dressed boyfriend walks carefully behind her as a shield for her ass, which is so close to out
In my view we have a few different tiers of verifiability 1) programatically verifiable (near-free) - games, coding, math, cybersecurity, chip design 2) real-world verifiable (cost-or time bounded) - sciences: biology, chemistry, physics -physical world: material science, energy, aerospace, robotics, agriculture, pharma -forecasting: trading, weather 3) verifiable with human preference - writing, design, comedy, charisma, persuasion I expect most low-hanging fruit in (1) to be solved very quickly. Not sure how much longer before more solved math conjectures are simply uninteresting. I’m least certain about chip design being in this category, perhaps we hit a ceiling and require physics or materials breakthroughs to continue progress. My guess is we will quickly run into the limits of how well we can simulate each domain in (2). The time-bounded nature of real world verification may be the reason we don’t hit fast takeoff. Sim2real remains an elusive problem to solve when real-world data is limited. Part of the reason I don’t expect to live multiple hundreds of years is simply that I expect pharmaceutical progress to be time-bounded by the physical world. I expect the items in (3) to never really get solved to a superhuman degree, as success relies on an ever-shifting plane of cultural preference. People adapted to “good” AI writing and became annoyed at new stylistic tics that, in a vacuum, are not necessarily bad.
grateful i grew up before i could access an internet filled with vicious gender / dating discourse, back in my day you just watched romcoms and listened to love songs on your ipod and you were like "hell yeah being in love kicks ass i hope i get to fall in love someday"
my contribution is that it's very weird that the sun and the moon are the same apparent size in the sky, the consensus appears to be that this is just a coincidence but that strikes me as wildly unsatisfying. seems to me there ought to be an anthropic explanation and my schizo theory is that eclipses are somehow necessary for the creation of civilization, like they provide some kind of crucial stimulus to insight or creativity or something. here's sol riffing off of this
confusing that people interpreted this as a status hierarchy. part of my motivation for going into math was that every other field seemed too *hard*. math was the only field where i could make sense of everything in my head. always resonated with this von neumann quote: https://t.co/Er8AY11mVZ https://t.co/onBl9ac62A
was at this hippie event in boulder once, one of the top 5 most beautiful women i've ever met in my life told me she'd sped up the healing of a broken bone months faster than her doctors believed possible by meditating on it every day https://t.co/9c994OkhoC